Improbable Research

Larry Shirley, modern champion of the science of eugenics, is a man of high standards:

Shirley offers fix for bad parenting
Sterilize irresponsible moms, dads, he says

Charleston City Councilman Larry Shirley says the robbery of a downtown video store - allegedly by a band of kids, including one too young to be charged - is a sure sign society has gone awry, and it’s time to start a “dialogue.”

And one of the things he says needs to be talked about is whether bad parents should be sterilized. “What we’ve got is a failure in society…,” Shirley said Friday. “We pick up stray animals and spay them. These mothers need to be spayed if they can’t take care of theirs.

So says a September 30, 2006 report in the Charleston, South Carolina Post and Courier.

(Thanks to investigator Ralph Deacon for bringing this to our attention.)

The 2006 Insect Fear Film Festival was a fantastic success - thanks to all involved!

So say the festival organizers.

(Thanks to investigator Sally Shelton for bringing this to our attention.)

Objective:
This lesson is for primary students. The main objective of this mini-teach is for students to learn and understand what inertia is. They will learn the difference between inertia for objects at rest and objects moving in a straight line.

Materials Needed:
Two dolls (Barbie & Ken), two carts (skates, skate board)

Strategy:
Place one doll in each cart. Secure one doll with a rubber band, tape or string. Push the carts into a wall. Ask the students what happened and why. (Doll not secured should fly out or fall forward). Talk about seat belts.

So says a suggested lesson plan by Maeola Walker of the Chicago Board of Education, or so says the Chicago Institute of Technology’s web site.

(Thanks to 2003 Ig Nobel Interdisciplinary Research Prize co-winner Stefano Ghirlanda for bringing this to our attention. INERTIA is the theme of the 2006 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony. Professor Ghirlanda will participate.)

UPDATE September 30, 2006:

Investigator Scott Langill writes:

I did a search for Barbie on the IIT website. It looks like they have Barbie on the brain….

Water without hydrogen would warrant warnings
Signs at park air phony hazard

The signs at the cascading pools in Waterfront Park are meant to frighten: They proclaim in bold letters, “danger” and “high levels of hydrogen.”

But the warnings are bogus.
The water in the fountain pools is, like all water, made of two-thirds hydrogen atoms and one-third oxygen atoms.

So says a July 17, 2006 report in The [Louisville, Kentucky] Courier-Journal.

(Thanks to investigator Mark Dionne for bringing this to our attention.)

Teen Who Cut Off Corpse’s Head To Make Bong Sentenced

Friends Say Buckalew Told Them He Did It Out Of Boredom

The teen reportedly told friends that he planned to leave the head outside to dry and would then bleach it, a police affidavit said. The witnesses said his plan was to turn the skull into a bong — a pipe generally used to smoke marijuana. Buckalew went to an apartment where some of his friends were and told them that he had chopped off the head because he was bored, according to The Caledonian-Record.

So says a June 29, 2006 report by WESH.

(Thanks to investigator Adiyasa Dwitama for bringing this to our attention.)

How many books written in seemingly obscure languages are misfiled and languishing unfindable in libraries? Joyce Flynn’s experience at Harvard suggests the answer is: a lot.

Flynn, a researcher in Celtic languages, discovered some common mishaps that no one discusses much….

So begins this week’s Improbable Research column in The Guardian.

If you don’t have time to properly evaluate an investment opportunity, just use the Hair Rule: any investment in a member of the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists is a guaranteed success.

So says the mildly elusive editor of the web site valleywag, citing as an example a man who is not a member of the LFHCfS.

(Thanks to investigator Betsy Devine for bringing this to our attention.)

Creating a brand new academic discipline – neuroarthistory – Prof John Onians uses the results from new scanning techniques to answer questions such as:

What happens in the brain of the modern artist as he or she works? • What happened in the brain of an artistic genius like Leonardo Da Vinci?

So says a press release issued by the University of East Anglia. The press release identifies the researcher variously as Professor Onians and as Professor Onions:

“The most interesting aspect of neuroarthistory is the way it enables us to get inside the minds of people who either could not or did not write about their work,” said Prof Onions.

(Thanks to investigator Yahoram Blumenfeld for bringing this to our attention.)

A one-minute video shows a bird with skill that equals or surpasses that of Michael Jackson when Jackson was in his prime.

Kees Moeliker, our European Bureau Chief who is also curator of birds at the Natural History Museum Rotterdam, says:

It is the Red-capped manakin (Pipra mentalis) which occurs in humid forests from SE Mexico, south to E Panama, NW Colombia and NW Ecuador. Stiles & Skutch (1989) in A Guide to the Birds of Costa Rica, describe this behaviour of the male as “backwards slides with legs stretched up and yellow thighs exposed.”

(Thanks to investigator Mark Dionne for bringing this to our attention.)

Can computers determine the truth or falsity of your opinion about George W. Bush? The U.S. Department of Homeland Security hopes so, according to a September 22, 2006 press release from Cornell University:

Sorting facts and opinions for Homeland Security

What are newspapers around the world saying about the latest speech by President George W. Bush? More importantly, how much of what they are saying is factual and how much opinion? And down the line, are some of the opinions being presented as if they were facts?

A new research program by a Cornell computer scientist, in collaboration with colleagues at the University of Pittsburgh and University of Utah, aims to teach computers to scan through text and sort opinion from fact. The research is funded by the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, which has designated the consortium of three universities as one of four University Affiliate Centers (UAC) to conduct research on advanced methods for information analysis and to develop computational technologies that contribute to national security. Cornell will receive $850,000 of $2.4 million in funding provided for the consortium over three years.

“Lots of work has been done on extracting factual information — the who, what, where, when,” explained Claire Cardie, Cornell professor of computer science, who is one of three co-principal investigators for the grant. “We’re interested in seeing how we would extract information about opinions.” …

(Thanks to investigator Jeanne Lenzer for bringing this to our attention.)

A man who may be named Henry industriously photographs lizards.

(Thanks to investigator Betsy Devine for bringing this to our attention.)

I have read with great interest Jeff Van Bueren’s research (”Postal Research,” AIR, vol. 6, no. 4, 2000) about things that go through the mail. In 1990, I had done an experiment which goes to prove that your research is exact, a lot of things get through the mail.

So writes investigator Philippe De Jonckheere.

From a chewing-gum manufacturing colossus comes a breakthrough scientific study called Components Responsible for the Odour of Cigar Smokers’ Breath.

Wrigley researchers Russell Bazemore, Charles Harrison and Michael Greenberg tell all, in five pages of tiny print in the American Chemical Society’s Journal of Agricultural and Food Chemistry. This was one of the last scientific investigations conducted under the William Wrigley Jr Company auspices. Hereafter, most such research will be sponsored by the new Wrigley Science Institute, which aims to help humanity understand “the benefits of chewing gum”.

Why did the William Wrigley Jr Company mount this particular - and particularly difficult - investigation? …

So begins this week’s Improbable Research column in The Guardian.

“Daniel Shiu and I worked on this as a joint project after we finished our rendition of Escher’s ‘Ascending and Descending’, making it our fourth Escher picture rendered in LEGO. Once again, no camera tricks, but the picture has to be taken from exactly the right place, and boy did we get tired of trying to find where that place was. The whole thing took five or six evenings spread over two or three weeks. Most of the last evening was taken up with setting up the lighting the way we wanted it and trying to get the camera position just right…”

So says Andrew Lipson.

(Thanks to MetaFilter for bringing this to our attention.)