How not to get your article published

We received this cover letter, which accompanied a lengthy article written in Russian. We have blotted out the author’s name (which may be overkill, because it was illegible).

When a magazine is published entirely in one language (our magazine happens to be in English), submissions written in other languages may be at a disadvantage. In this case, we will not publish the article, but we have (as you can see) published the cover letter.

BONUS: See David J. Smyth’s 1994 essay, which has the same title.