Poem for the Dundee Ig Nobel show

In tribute of a sort to tonight’s Ig Nobel show at the University of Dundee, not far from the Tay Bridge, here are the concluding lines of William McGonagall’s mortal poem “The Tay Bridge Disaster“:

Oh! ill-fated Bridge of the Silv’ry Tay,
I must now conclude my lay
By telling the world fearlessly without the least dismay,
That your central girders would not have given way,
At least many sensible men do say,
Had they been supported on each side with buttresses,
At least many sensible men confesses,
For the stronger we our houses do build,
The less chance we have of being killed.