by Jeremy Gorman Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada
One day when I was wondering just what was wrong with me,
I thought to ask some experts in what’s called psychology.
Beginning with the founders of the psychologic arts,
I went to Wundt and Titchener, who broke me into parts.
John Dewey proved more functional, and Peirce was quite pragmatic,
but Ebbinghaus’s learning curve was steep as stairs-to-attic.
I asked Will James, “How much to tell me what is best for me?”
He told me, “You must give yourself.” Wow. Quite the session fee.
John Watson soon got wind of this, and, not to be outdone,
said “Give to me a dozen kids.” I had not even one!
And so I went to Festinger, who told me my cognition
was dissonant, though Erikson did not take that position.
A crisis of identity was what he said I had.
And so I asked, “What therapy will make my mind less mad?”
Carl Rogers spoke. “Why, client-centered! Best thing ever tried!”
I then asked Perls. “Gestalt,” he said. “Gesundheit,” I replied….
(That’s an excerpt from the poem “37 Therapists,” by Jeremy Gorman, Published in AIR 14:5.)