The Bovine Indecision Limerick Contest has produced a vast herd of runners-up. Here is a tiny selection. (The contest was announced in mini-AIR 2004-01. The winners will be announced in mini-AIR 2004-02)
INVESTIGATOR B. ROBSON:
Cows are not easily moved
By questions of “slotted or grooved?”
They’ll think you a bore
If you ponder the floor.
Their feet are protected: they’re hooved.
INVESTIGATOR P. FLYNN:
Four Dutchmen were studying cowses
And their preference of floors in their houses.
Cows finally proved
They like slotted AND grooved
Whatever the passion arouses…
INVESTIGATOR G. HALLOCK:
Researchers’ attentions, much paid
To how the barn floors had been laid
To figure out whether
Beasts bound up in leather
Might, to one or other, be suede.
INVESTIGATOR X. GRAY:
In tests of the flooring provided
In barns where some cattle resided,
Floors slotted or grooved
Seem not to have behooved
Cows to stand up and be more decided.
INVESTIGATOR M. WARD:
Do grooves or slots make cows flounder?
Come on, tell me, which one is sounder,
But, come end of the day,
I say “what the hay” —
It won’t matter when they end up a Quarter Pounder.