This keynote speech was delivered at the Fourteenth First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, on September 30, 2004, at Sanders Theatre, Harvard University. The theme of that year’s ceremony was: Diet.
John Trinkaus is Professor Emeritus at the Zicklin School of Business, New York City. He was awarded the 2003 Ig Nobel Literature Prize for publishing more than eighty (80) academic reports about things that annoyed him.
Diets go back, probably, to the start of time. Eve had an apple diet that she had Adam on. And we talk about the ancient Greeks — you think they were talking about philosophical things like the meaning of life? No. They were talking about diets. We had the ancient Romans — you think they were talking about the design of the new catapult? No. Diets. The medieval period — you think the lords were talking about increased productivity for the serfs? No. Diets. Elizabeth — you thought she was talking about expanding the empire? No. Diets.
But none of them worked. Even the famous Trinkaus Brussels Sprouts Diet did not work. [Editor?s note: This is a reference to one of Professor Trinkaus?s Prize-winning papers.] It seems nobody liked Brussels sprouts.
But tonight you?re going to get the straight scoop about diets. Remember, you heard it here first. Here it is. It all can be summed up in four words, and you should remember these four words: Keep your mouth shut.
(That’s an excerpt from the article “The Ig Nobel Keynote Speeches,” published in AIR 11:1.)