Improbable Research

Paul Renteln, Alan Dundes and the American Mathematical Society (AMS) have done either a service or a disservice to the mathematical community. Renteln and Dundes’s compilation of old math jokes has been published in the Notices of the AMS, volume 52, no. 1.

(Thanks to Tom Roberts for bringing this to our attention.)

Tim Deschaines, the noted chemistry professor, and Bob Kinzie, the noted marine biologist, have
joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair
Club for Scientists.

Deschaines is at the University of New Hampshire. Kenzie is at the University of Hawaii. Their institutions are (or soon will be) renowned for their
abundance of luxuriantly-flowing-haired researchers.

A student at Ohio University demonstrated that it’s hard to predict the weather.

Our mentions of boxing rats and cats and flies did not exhaust the list of ring-eligible contenders. There is a plan to equip chickens with boxing gloves. The Associated Press reports that Oklahoma state senator Frank Shurden is a strong supporter of the plan.

In the quest for excellence, some schools craft their own, specially excellent slogan or motto. Ball State University, in Muncie, Indiana, has the motto: "Powerful Resources, Personal Learning, Everything You Need." This seven-word elegiac poem was born in an intensive research and development programme….

So begins this week’s Improbable Research column in The Guardian

Investgator Jessica Girard alerts us to the National Museum of Natural History’s video of some boxing rats.

These boxing rats aren’t boxing cats.
Nor are they fighting flies.
Nay, nay.

Sharlie Huffman, P.Eng., the noted bridge seismic engineer, has
joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair
Club for Scientists.

Huffman is at the Ministry of Transportation, in Victoria, British Columbia. The institution is (or soon will be) renowned for its
abundance of luxuriantly-flowing-haired researchers.

James Gundlach, professor of sociology and co-winner of the 2004 Ig-Nobel Prize for Medicine, presents “Research Enters the Culture Wars: The Effects of Country Music and Abortion on Suicide” Wednesday, January 26 at noon in Foy Room 213 at Auburn University.

(This news comes from a report in the January 20, 2005 issue of The Auburn Plainsman.)

"Foul-Mouthed Patron Drops Lawsuit" is the headline in a recent report in the journal American Libraries. The report begins:

A patron who sued the Ann Arbor (Mich.) District Library after being banned for using obscene language has dropped his federal lawsuit.

In a December 6 letter to U.S. District Judge George Caram Steeh, author Fredric Maxwell asked that his case be dismissed because he no longer lives in Ann Arbor, the Ann Arbor News reported December 8. Maxwell said he did not have the “time, resources, or inclination to continue returning from the California sun to the Michigan snow to be an unpaid change agent for a town where I used to live.”

Mr Maxwell is the author of the book Bad Boy Balmer, a copy of which is in the library.

Two reptile ecological physiologists — Michael Finkler and Emily Taylor — have
joined the Luxuriant Flowing Hair
Club for Scientists.

Finkler is at  Indiana University Kokomo. Taylor is at Arizona State University. Both institutions are (or soon will be) renowned for their abundance of luxuriantly-flowing-haired researchers.

Investigator Gary Hallock was inpired by our recent report about the report about the relative jumping abilities of dog and cat fleas. He produced an epic poem. Here it is:

FLEA’S A CROWD

The Lord, hard at work on "creation"

Distracted by itching sensation
 
Discovered that fleas
 
Were biting his knees

What’s this? It’s some sort of mutation

These fleas seemed intent on migration

In upwardly mobile invasion
 
He knew he’d soon find
 
Himself in a bind

With scratching and constant abrasion

So using his great ‘magination

He fixed up the whole situation
 
Creating the cat
 
Solved problem like "that"

Now fleas have a preoccupation

Murphy’s Law covers all of time and space. It is newly demonstrated in this report from the Associated Press:

David Atkinson spent 18 years designing an experiment for the unmanned
space mission to Saturn. Now some pieces of it are lost in space.
Someone forgot to turn on the instrument Atkinson needed to measure the
winds on Saturn’s largest moon….

(Thanks to noted attorney William J. Maloney for bringing it to our attention.)

There are depths and shoals to explore in Mark Isaak’s Curiosities of Biological Nomenclature. Investigator Isaak writes:

I would like to call your attention to two scientists whose
contributions, perhaps, are worthy of recognition.

Leigh Van Valen has expanded the horizons of paleontology into
Middle Earth by naming at least 21 paleocene mammals after
characters from Tolkien, including Bomburia, Earendil, Fimbrethil
ambaronae, and more.  Tolkien has inspired other taxonomists, too,
but none others to such an extent.

Neal L. Evenhuis excels at scientific names as an art form in
themselves.  He is perhaps best known for Phthiria relativitae;
his other contributions include Carmenelectra shechisme,
Meomyia, Villa manillae, Iyaiyai, Pieza pi, Pieza kake, Pieza rhea,
and Pieza deresistans, and more.

The other names contributed by these two people may be found
amidst other taxonomic flotsam and jetsam here, here, and here.

The January issue of mini-AIR just went out.

Who is the most productive academic in the world? Adrian Furnham, maybe, a professor of psychology at University College London. He has seven nominal appendages, specifically: BA, MA, MSc, MSc (Econ), DPhil, DSc and DLitt. His CV is 55 pages long.

This is perhaps worth repeating: Professor Furnham’s CV is 55 pages long…

So begins this week’s Improbable Research column in The Guardian