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mini-FOLLOW-UP -- Further Choudhur Heads-Up

by Alice Shirell Kaswell, AIR staff

Scientific reports are not always easy to understand. In mini-mini-AIR 2000-02 we issued a challenge to write the best 25 word (max) summary of this famous research paper:

"A philosophico-mathematical theorem on unity of knowledge," M.A. Choudhur, Kybernetes, vol. 28, nos. 6-7, 1999, pp. 763-776. ABSTRACT: The ontological- epistemological relevance of Divine Unity at the core of socio-scientific world-systems is developed in analytical terms and is contrasted with the scientific roots of rationalism. The versatile capability of the unity world view is seen to explain both truth and falsehood in a scientific sense. Unification is treated as the application of the knowledge flows emanating from the ontology-epistemalogy of fundamental unity to world-systems. Thus, a comprehensive theorem relating to the knowledge- centred world view is developed and proved.

The winner is JoAnne Schmitz. She will receive a free, autographed (by someone) copy of the Annals of Improbable Research, for digesting Choudhur's thoughts into this:

"You cannot explain human nature unless you abandon rationality. Fortunately, if you abandon rationality, you can explain anything."

Other notable efforts were published in mini-AIR 2000-03. Here is a further selection, freshly pressed and categorized.

 

META-LOGICAL

"I will here contrast religious and scientific outlooks in the language of science. Religion, because it comes from God, is better." --Tad 'Baxil' Ramspott

A synthesis of mysticism and science explains more about the universe than science alone. We can demonstrate this with numbers. --John Parker

"Science is harder than Religion. But anything can be taken on faith when 'God says so.' Therefore, my theorem is true." --Thomas D. Barringer

"I (Choudhur) don't think you'll ever know what I'm saying. I don't know, either. But here are some symbols and numbers to prove it." --Sachin

 

LITERARY

"God is one.

The universe is binary.

One = zero.

I guess God is zero.

I am one." -- Larry Fenton

"I know what I know, so dig those zany scientists who haven't realized where its at - its all one (man)! A formal proof is exhibited." --Bruce Edmonds

 

BLUNT

"God knows." --Dov Weinstock

"I have written another meaningless paper. May I please have tenure?" -- Brian Williams

 

OTHERWISE EPIGRAMMATIC

"God or Science? Truth or Lies? Take a guess." --Andy Mays

"We think, therefore God Is." -- David Pinckney

"Anyone can prove anything they want to by saying 'God did it.'" --Katja Street

 

INNOVATIVE (ALBEIT LENGTHY) ANALYSES

(1)

I tried long and hard to reduce Choudhar's abstract to something more comprehensible - in the end I gave up and just reduced it. I have discovered that removing all of the vowels considerably shortens the abstract, without actually altering one's ability to comprehend what is written:

"Th ntlgcl-pstmlgcl rlvnc f Dvn nty t th cr f sc-scntfc wrld-systms s dvlpd n nlytcl trms nd s cntrstd wth th scntfc rts f rtnlsm. Th vrstl cpblty f th nty wrld vw s sn t xpln bth trth nd flshd n scntfc sns. nfctn s trtd s th pplctn f th knwldg flws mntng frm th ntlgy-pstmlgy f fndmntl nty t wrld-systms. Ths, cmprhnsv thrm rltng t th knwldg-cntrd wrld vw s dvlpd nd prvd"

I have been experimenting with this new reductionist technique and have found it almost universally useful. It should however be applied sparingly to mathematics papers & theorems: e=3Dmc2 is (relatively) meaningless without the vowels. --Robin Wiggs

(2)

The brief version:

"A unification of philosophy, morals and mathematics is proved. This is, of course, impossible, but makes me feel better. And it's only 13 pages long!"

A more verbose version:

"God and a moral universe exist, but I have difficulty with this as a rational scientist. After reading several mystic Indian texts and a cheap Dover book on advanced field theory, I performed some dubious equation manipulation to try to convince everyone else that I am not mad. So there. And just because my mother doesn't love me...." --Martyn Bull

(3)

Here is my summary:

"___________________________

Please send a free, autographed (by someone) copy of the Annals of Improbable Research to: Carlos Gonzalez C/ Centro 3, atico 08901 Hospitalet (Barcelona) SPAIN"

(end of the summary)

As you can see, it has exactly 25 words, is written in plain English, and I challenge you to prove that it is NOT an accurate summary of Choudhur's paper (it would be my word against yours. I wait forward to receive the AIR copy. --Carlos Gonzalez

 

==================================
CERTIFICATION
I certify that the data set
was not altered in any way
that anyone cares about.
 --A.S. Kaswell
   Annals of Improbable Research
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