MAY WE RECOMMEND--
The Newest, Bestest Oxygen
Items worth looking into
Most people feel there's nothing much new in the world of oxygen. That sentiment appears to be dead wrong. We have encountered two (well, three, actually) entirely new forms of oxygen.
1. Aquagen Liquid Oxygen
The first is Aquagen Liquid Oxygen, which we first saw described at Technoscout. We are told there that:
A few drops of Aquagen liquid oxygen added to water will renew your energy and gives your body what it most craves -- more oxygen.
This remarkable form of oxygen is manufactured by Aquagen International <www.aquagen.com>. They kindly make available a video starring actress Mariette Hartley effusedly spokespersoning about this new, revolutionary form of oxygen.
Elsewhere on the web we learned that Aquagen is "the answer to easy breathing, that all chronic pain, suffering and diseases are caused from a lack of oxygen at the cell level," that Aquagen Sho-KOI is an "Immune Boosting Food" for fish, and that Aquagen is "The Powder of Oxygen."
The other new form of oxygen is Oxygen8.
The Oxygen8 web site <www.oxygen8.com>has a section called "Testimonials." The Testimonials section contains exactly one testimonial, by our count. The testimonial is by Sharon Humphries of Fort Lee, New Jersey, who says:
When I first read that only 1% of the air we breathe is oxygen, I was motivated to consume more oxygen.
Oxygen8 water is a brilliant way of doing this. It is a better tasting water and I have more enhanced endurance on the Stairmaster when I work out.
[NOTE: According to one report, Oxygen8 is also, or perhaps alternatively, a form of music. Still another report informs us that Oxygen8 is a MIDI controller. Yet another report informs us that Oxygen8 is a "Concentrated All Purpose Cleaner."]
Which is Best?
Which is the best of these new forms of oxygen -- Aquagen or Oxygen8? Our panel of professional chemists was unable to decide. The panel's appraisal: "Both are equally valuable."
We agree with our chemists' view. We recommend Aquagen exactly as much as we recommend Oxygen8.
3. A Very Different New Form
Oxygen now also comes in a third, quite dramatic form -- a play written by Roald Hoffmann and Carl Djerassi. This variety of Oxygen has a published (and reproducible) data set, which can be seen on the Internet at <http://www.djerassi.com/schedule/oxygen.html>. Our panel of chemists gives this Oxygen a rating of seven thumbs (two per chemist, plus one spare that we found in a cabinet) up.
© Copyright 2002 Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
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