UPDATE UPDATE: Celebrity Nutritionist

Items that merit a trip to the library

by Alice Shirrell Kaswell, AIR staff

Not a photo of the Celebrity Nutritionist

The Annals of Improbable Research receives all sorts of mail. Some of it we read. Some of it we share with our readers in a column called "AIR Vents." And some of it we simply marvel at. In October, 2000, we received a letter from a celebrity nutritionist and his wife, asking if we would like to help publicize them. Having never before heard from a celebrity nutritionist and his wife, we were of course happy to do so. And we did do so.

However, in December they requested that we temper our avidity and admiration. In particular they asked that we remove the impressive publicity photograph that showed the celebrity nutritionist with a well-nutrified woman who is not his wife.

The Absence of a Stunning Picture

And so, dear readers, you no longer see here that photograph. But please do not let this discourage your natural curiosity as to the advantages of learning about a celebrity nutritionist. For, as the original request put it:

You'll see that we offer a WHOLE lot more than just nutritional guidance!

Indeed, they do offer a WHOLE lot more.

Please Go See

As incentive to go see for yourself, here is a brief passage from the celebrity nutritionist's web page:

I have said this time and time again to CHILDREN, SENIORS, BEGINNERS and ATHLETES. It doesn't matter if you have CANCER, AIDS, a prior HEART CONDITION, are PARALYZED, OBESE, ANOREXIC, PREGNANT, experience INDIGESTION, have had JOINT SURGERY, DIABETES, BLOOD PROBLEMS, ALLERGIES, ACHES, PAINS, MIGRAINES, CRAVINGS, EMOTIONAL DISORDERS, FOOD SENSITIVITIES, BLADDER, maybe even RECTAL complications or ARE THE EPITOME OF TOTAL HEALTH. This program was designed with all people in mind. Ask your physician. I am certain they too will INSIST you do as I advise once they read through the entire Don Lemmon's KNOW HOW manual.

This is impressive work. We hope you will give it the full appreciation it deserves.

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