RESEARCH QUESTION --
Clean Mouth
Spotlighting current research of excessive interest
There is a new, clean weapon in the war against smoking.
Now in the hands of Sebastian Ciancio, D.D.S., professor and chair of the Department of Peridontology at the University at Buffalo School of Dental Medicine, this armament consists of -- indeed, is -- mouthwash. A press release issued on May 9, 2000, contains the first public information about the mouthwash:
The new mouth rinse is a product of the same creative mind that developed the first Xerox copy paper, Ciancio said. The product's data sheet describes it as a breath-freshening, germ-killing liquid that works like any normal mouthwash with one notable exception: For 5-8 hours after using it, "the taste of cigarette smoke is distorted to the point where the person will not smoke past the first puff."
The mouth rinse doesn't affect the taste of anything but tobacco smoke, the inventor asserts, which makes it a useful long-term deterrent should former smokers be tempted to relapse. The inventor also notes that his product doesn't involve nicotine or any other drug....
Persons interested in volunteering for the smoking-deterrent mouth-rinse study... may call the UB dental school at 716-829-3850.
Most mouthwashes are designed to make the oral cavity feel clean and minty fresh. This one is engineered to make your mouth go yucky.
Alternative Weapons Testing
In the war against smoking this is the first weapon of its kind. History indicates that the first version of any weapon can be improved upon.
Here, then, is a list of basic substances upon which to base future anti-smoking mouthwash research and development. They range from the ancient to the fairly modern:
We would be interested in hearing the results, if any, of your research with these advanced puff-prevention materials.
© Copyright 2000 Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
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