LOST & FOUND--
Invasions of Virginia and NY
Highly alarming science news
The northeast portion of the United States seems especially prey to these invasions. Here are two such cases.
Yes, Virginia, There is an Invasion
Virginia residents who believe they have been kidnapped by aliens from outer space receive insufficient protection by their state government, according to a lawsuit filed by former soldier Larry Bryant, according to a June 22, 2000 report in the Washington Post (page VA-8).
Bryant has filed a lawsuit against Virginia's governor, demanding a multiplicity of protections.
When Do Scientists Wake Up and Get Involved?
The Virginia invasion has not yet been chronicled in any peer-reviewed science journal. This lapse will be corrected, I am quite sure, well before Virginia suffers any mass invasion of extraterrestrial aliens.
My confidence comes from reading history. Scientists generally do learn from their mistakes. In the case of alien invasion of American states, there is a recent lesson staring them in the face.
New York, Beware
As documented in volume 5, number, 3 of the science journal Northeastern Naturalist, the state of New York was invaded by the terrestrial flatworm, Bipalium adventitium. The report was written by Peter K. Ducey and Stacey Noce of Cortland State University. [We have already alerted AIR readers to Ducey and Noce's report; see the "AIRhead Research Reports" column in AIR 5:4.]
Scientists to the Rescue
In this case, the scientific community was caught napping, and did not report the mass invasion until after it had reached frightening proportions. This mistake will not happen again.
Should the Virginia invasion grow to a degree worth serious concern, the science community will not let us down I am sure that, in the months leading up to the larger phase of the invasion, our science journals, our newspapers, our magazines, and our electronic news outlets, would shower us with useful news and advice about how to meet the invaders, and how to successfully market to them.
(Thanks to Tatiana Divens for bringing the Virginia invasion news to our attention, and to Jenna Caldwell for alerting us to the New York invasion.)
[NOTE: the 1993 Ig Nobel Prize for psychology was awarded for work related to this topic. The Prize was shared by John Mack of Harvard Medical School and David Jacobs of Temple University, "for their leaping conclusion that people who believe they were kidnapped by aliens from outer space, probably were -- and especially for their conclusion 'the focus of the abduction is the production of children.'"]
© Copyright 2000 Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)
This is a HotAIR exclusive article. For a complete list of
the others, see What's New.