HotAIR - AIRHEAD TECH NOTES -- Middle East Peace Solution


Middle East Peace Solution

by Pelham Grenville, AIR staff

AIR commissioned a Special Panel of scientific diplomats to devise a workable Middle East peace solution. The goal: find a way to achieve unity among the quarreling parties.

The Panel has done its work, devising a solution that it guarantees will incur minimal cost in time or frustration. (The Panel was directed to disregard abstract philosophical quantities such as money and human life.)

The Question

The key to the problem, according to the Panelists, is what happens to the omni-coveted city of Jerusalem. Panel members therefore addressed the simple question: Should Jerusalem be given to: a) the Israelis or b) the Palestinians?

The Solution

The Panel offered two alternative solutions:
SOLUTION #1. Unite all the Semites against a common enemy. Give Jerusalem back to the British.

SOLUTION #2. Give Jerusalem back to ex-Ottomans. Then everybody, even the British, will join against them.

Will It Work?

We have tested this solution on a focus group of historians, politicians, and reporters, none of whom live in the Middle East. The focus group participants all say that this method will be reliable and satisfying.

Credit for the Plan

We wish to thank the Special Panel for its fine work. Special credit goes to the Panel Chairpersons, LXF and TXA of DXL University, both of whom modestly insist that their full names (and that of their university) not appear on this report.

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