October 2, 1999
AN UNPOTTED GUIDE TO MAKING TEA
By Paul Mccann
IN 1946 George Orwell wrote elegantly
and with some wit about how to make
the perfect cup of tea. It included his adjudication
on the milk first or after
debate, and the criticism of China tea that: "One does
not feel wiser, braver or
more optimistic after drinking it. Anyone who has used
that comforting phrase 'a
nice cup of tea' invariably means Indian tea."
Orwell could be a bit of a pedant,
but he has met his match in the British
Standards Institute. Yesterday, the BSI won the 'Ig Nobel'
Prize for producing a
5,000-word guide to making a cuppa.
The award is an annual "prize" from
Harvard academics for a piece of writing
that "cannot or should not be reproduced". The BSI's
representative in the
United States sportingly agreed to accept the award in
person and was
symbolically pelted with dry tea-bags as he went to receive
his plaque.
Orwell's 10-point instructions appeared
in his newspaper column under the
headline: 'A nice cup of tea'. The BSI's effort is less
snappily titled: "BS
6008: Method for Preparation of a Liquor of Tea".
The phrase "making tea" is replaced
with: "The extraction of soluble
substances in dried tea leaf, contained in a porcelain
or earthenware pot, by
means of freshly boiling water, pouring liquor into a
white porcelain or
earthenware bowl, examination of the organoleptic properties
of the infused
leaf, and of the liquor with or without milk or both."
The prize-winning BSI 6008 was originally
drawn up to set a standard for
professional tea testers. The report even contains diagrams
of the ideal
dimensions of pot.
BSI spokesman Steve Tyler said: "We
are delighted to have been recognised
for what is the very important task of setting out the
standards required to
produce a proper cup of tea."