PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue number 2004-02 February 2004 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 2004-02-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 2004-02-01 Table of Contents 2004-02-02 Soon... 2004-02-03 What's New in the Magazine 2004-02-04 Baby in a Box 2004-02-05 Beauty and Truth: The Results 2004-02-06 Filth Question 2004-02-07 Hellish Mathematician Wanted 2004-02-08 The Flow of Knowledge 2004-02-09 Bovine Indecision Poets 2004-02-10 Ig Nobel Tour of Britain 2004-01-11 Survey: Astronomers vs. Moons 2004-02-12 Blog Items 2004-02-13 Non-Cosy Sticky Limerick Contest 2004-02-14 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Fast Food 2004-02-15 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Beveled Biters, and Buzz 2004-02-16 AIRhead Events 2004-02-17 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 2004-02-18 Our Address (*) 2004-02-19 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) 2004-02-20 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-02 Soon... Imminent Improbable Research shows include: SEATTLE - AAAS Annual Meeting - Feb. 13 BELLINGHAM - Northern Washington U. - Feb. 17 Ten cities in England, Scotland, Ireland, N. Ireland For details see sections 2004-02-10 and 2004-02-16 below. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-03 What's New in the Magazine The Jan./Feb. issue (vol. 10, no. 1) will be the too-long-awaited special Beauty Issue. Full of beauty, if not grace, it will make its formal entrance onto the world stage some time in February. The table of contents is at The too-long-delayed Ig Nobel issue finally did limp out into the world about two weeks ago. ----------------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-04 Baby in a Box Investigator T.F. Tauborg implored us to remind you that it is now more than half a century since psychologist B.F. Skinner published his article "Baby in a Box" in the Ladies Home Journal (September 28, 1945). We hope to have ascertained, by next month, why investigator Tauborg feels it is important that we remind you of that fact. ----------------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-05 Beauty and Truth: The Results The verdict is in. Last month's Scientific Correctness Survey, inspired by the poet John Keats, asked: Beauty is truth, truth beauty. Do you agree or disagree? The final voting results: AGREE: 31% DISAGREE 65& CONFUSED 04% NOTE: Votes were tallied as "confused" only in case where the voter specifically used the word "confused." Other voters may have been confused, but not in an approved way. Thus another scientific controversy has been settled, and need be debated no more. SUMMARY: The scientific consensus is that beauty is not truth, nor truth beauty. ----------------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-06 Filth Question "Must a tribute to filth be clean?," asks Investigator Laura Komatsu in an anguished message. The question is specific. It pertains to tributes written in honor of Sidebottom's classic "Fundamentals of Microanalytical Entomology: A Practical Guide to Detecting and Identifying Filth in Foods." (See last month's mini- AIR for details.) The answer is: probably, but not necessarily. The first tributes to arrive are, as it happens, devoid of filth. Some of them can be admired at . If you feel a need to, please send your (properly formed, freshly composed, not overly filthy) limerick to: FILTH-IN-FOODS PAEANS c/o ----------------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-07 Hellish Mathematician Wanted Investigator Gwen Kash seeks mathematical assistance. She writes: "Having recently come across the 1994 ig in mathematics to the Alabama Baptist church for calculating the number of Alabamans condemned to hell, I felt an urgent need to calculate the same figures for my hometown of New York City. Unfortunately, I am deficient in knowledge of simultaneous equations and computer spreadsheets, and not quite patient enough for that much estimation in order to figure out the USPs (unsaved souls percentage) of the various religious denomination. I need a list of USPS for the partially-math-challenged. Anywhere I could get one, or anybody there who would like to calculate one for me? Then I can do the rest of the work specific to New York. Thanks so much." Mathematical background for this real-life puzzle is at . Investigator Kash can be reached at . ----------------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-08 The Flow of Knowledge What is education? How best to describe it? Investigator Doug Peterson, at the University of South Dakota, offers a new perspective. He writes: * * * I start my introductory class each day with a quote about education or learning to share with the class a little about my thoughts on education. I always open with and reiterate one particular quote (that is also displayed on the door to my office): 'Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire' -- William Butler Yeats The last question on my comprehensive exam (multiple choice) was: Complete the following quotation which summarizes your professor's view of education: 'Education is not the filling of a pail,...' 41% selected the distracter which read: 'it is the emptying of a bucket.' ---------------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-09 Bovine Indecision Poets The judges in the first and last annual BOVINE INDECISION LIMERICK COMPETITION have chosen the winners, each of whom in some sense explored the research report (well, in this case, a book): "Do Cows Prefer a Barn Compartment With a Grooved or Slotted Floor?" Journal of Dairy Science. [see last month's mini-AIR for the full citation.] The winners each will receive a free, possibly grooved or slotted, issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Here are the poets and their limericks: INVESTIGATOR MIKE TICE: The Dutch scholars thought it behooves Us to find whether cows prefer grooves To slots on barn floors, But nature abhors Discriminant ruminant hooves. INVESTIGATOR MARTIN EIGER: It's groundbreaking research that proves That a barn with a floor that has grooves And another with slots Are deemed equal by lots Of smart cows. How'd they vote? With their hooves! INVESTIGATOR KEITH LEBER: This paper convincingly proves Some cows preferred slots, others grooves. These findings lay bare, That the cows didn't care What the hell they had under their hooves. NOTES: 1. The judges remarked unhappily on the large number of aspiring poets who somehow produced limericks that depend on words ending in "ooves" and are janglingly similar to each other. 2. Some runners up are posted on our blog. ----------------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-10 Ig Nobel Tour of Britain This year's Ig Nobel Tour of Britain will visit ten cities in England, Scotland, Ireland, and Northern Ireland. Numerous Ig winners (washed and unwashed) will show off their accomplishments to eager members of the public (also washed and unwashed). Singers will perform Ig Nobel mini-operas. Competitions will result in (a) some skillful science-limerick-writer winning a free trip for two to the this year's Ig Nobel Prize ceremony at Harvard and (b) a luxuriantly-flowing-haired scientist being officially recognized as the Barnet of the Year. For details, see ----------------------------------------------------------- 2004-01-11 Survey: Astronomers vs. Moons Which are more numerous -- the moons of Jupiter or the astronomers who discover them? Not so long ago, investigators David Jewett and Scott Sheppard at the University of Hawaii found yet another 20 moons orbiting the gassy planet, kicking the total number of known Jupiter-moons to 60. It's expected that more will turn up. This month's SCIENTIFIC CORRECTNESS SURVEY (#302, if you're counting), consists of the following question: When the final, correct count is finished will there be a) More moons than astronomers; or b) Fewer moons than astronomers; or c) An endless argument Please send your vote, without elaborate comment, to: ASTRONOMERS VS. MOONS VOTE c/o ----------------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-12 Blog Items The Improbable Research blog (something new every weekday) has in recent weeks included the following, among other, topics: Bureaucratic Hand Numbers Mirror Smoke Hazard Upside-Down, and Diagnosis Trinkaus and the Mammoth Cheese The Hair of Dr. Notkin Hollow Research Bunnies The Dangerous Language New LFHCfS members Portfolio of a Genius Reach the blog via ---------------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-13 Non-Cosy Sticky Limerick Contest We invite you to enter the first and last annual NON-COSINESS OF STICKY BROWNIAN MOTION LIMERICK COMPETITION, for the best (NEWLY composed!) limerick that elucidates this research report, which was brought to our attention by investigator Thel Rogers: "On the Joining of Sticky Brownian Motion," Jonathan Warren, Sˇminaire de Probabilitˇs, vol. 33, pp. 257-66, in Lecture Notes in Mathematics, no. 1709, Springer, Berlin, 1999. The author, who is at Warwick University, includes a three-page proof of the "non-cosiness of sticky Brownian motion." RULES: Please make sure your rhymes actually do, and that your limerick at least pretends to adhere to classic limerick form. PRIZE: The winning poet will receive a free, cosily nonsticky Brownian issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Send entries (one entry per entrant) to: NON-COSY STICKY LIMERICK CONTEST c/o ----------------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-14 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Fast Food Each month we select for your special attention a research report that seems especially worth a close read. Your librarian will enjoy being asked (loudly, so other library patrons can hear it) for a copy. Here is this month's Pick-of-the-Month: "Reproducibility of Gastric Emptying of a Pancake and Milkshake Meal in Normal Subjects," M.F. Kong, et al, Nuclear Medicine Communications, vol. 19, no 1, January 1998, pp. 77-82. The authors, who are at Queen's Medical Centre, Nottingham, UK, report that "the method showed good reproducibility." ----------------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-15 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Beveled Biters, and Buzz NEANDERTAL INCISOR BEVELING "Neandertal Incisor Beveling," P.S. Ungar, et al., Journal of Human Evolution, vol. 32, no. 5, May 1997, pp. 407-21. The authors are at the University of Arkansas, Fayetteville. ROCK & ROLL BUZZ "Insects in Rock and Roll Music," Joseph Coelho, American Entomologist, vol. 46, 3, Fall 2000, pp. 186-200. (Thanks to Adrian Smith for bringing this to our attention.) The author is at Culver-Stockton College. The list is available online at , and lots of insect-ridden album covers are on display at ------------------------------------------------------------ 2004-02-16 AIRhead Events ==> For details and updates see ==> Want to host an event? 617-491-4437. ==> AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- FRI, FEB 13, 2004 (Yes, the Improbable Research show is open free to the public!) 8:00 PM SHERATON HOTEL, METROPOLITAN BALLROOM Performers include: AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS GREG CROWTHER - "Jelly Electrophoresis" YORAM BAUMAN - "Mankiw's Ten Principles of Economics, Translated" EUGENIE SCOTT and the STEVES - "The Latest on Project Steve" KRISTEN ROSENFELD will perform songs from Ig Nobel mini-operas ...and MORE... WESTERN WASHINGTON U., BELLINGHAM, WA -- TUES, FEB 17, 2004 7:00 P.M. Arntzen Hall 100 MARC ABRAHAMS will address the question "What's It Take to Win an Ig Nobel Prize?" INFO: Walter Lonner INFO: ENGLAND, SCOTLAND, IRELAND NATIONAL SCIENCE WEEK IG NOBEL TOUR -- MARCH 11-21, 2004 List of events: Thursday 11th March: Oxford University Friday 12th March: Nottingham Trent University Saturday 13th March: W5@Odyssey, Belfast Sunday 14th March: Royal Dublin Society, Dublin Monday 15th March: Royal Col. of Phys. and Surg., Glasgow Tuesday 16th: Exeter University Wednesday 17th March: University of Manchester Thursday 18th March: Institute of Electrical Engineers, London Saturday 20th March: Millennium Point, Birmingham Monday 22nd March: CCLRC Daresbury Lab, Warrington, Cheshire INFO: COUNCIL OF SCIENTIFIC SOCIETY PRESIDENTS -- MAY 1 or 2 or 3, 2004 WASHINGTON, DC ASSOCIATION FOR INSTITUTIONAL RESEARCH -- WED, JUNE 2, 2004 ANNUAL MEETING, BOSTON, MA AUSTRALIA, NATIONAL SCIENCE WEEK TOUR -- AUG 2004 [Tentatively scheduled]. ALPBACH TECHNOLOGY FORUM, AUSTRIA -- AUG 26-28, 2004 ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY -- THURS, SEP. 30, 2004 HARVARD UNIVERSITY IG INFORMAL LECTURES 2004 -- SAT, OCTOBER 2, 2004 MIT -------------------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-17 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you've been reading in this newsletter). ................................................................ Name: Address: Address: City and State: Zip or postal code: Country Phone: FAX: E-mail: ................................................................ SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): USA 1 yr/$29 2 yrs/$53 Canada/Mexico 1 yr/$33 US 2 yrs/$57 US Overseas 1 yr/$45 US 2 yrs/$82 US ................................................................ BACK ISSUES are available, too: First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues purchased at same time: $6 each ................................................................ Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 ----------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-18 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: --------------------------- 2004-02-19 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Abrahams CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, S. Drew MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts (c) copyright 2004, Annals of Improbable Research ----------------------------------------------------- 2004-02-20 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. 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