PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 2003-08 August, 2003 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 2003-08-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 2003-08-01 Table of Contents 2003-08-02 What's New in the Magazine 2003-08-03 Yes, Yes, Yes to No, No, No 2003-08-04 Psychiatric Correctness Distilled 2003-08-05 Fat Scoop (1): The Happiness of Babette 2003-08-06 Fat Scoop (2): Inner Celebrity 2003-08-07 What Are They Doing Now? - Jack and Rexella 2003-08-08 What Are They Doing Now? - Bow-Lingual 2003-08-08-A What Are They Doing Now? - E.T. 2003-08-09 Ferret Toss Poets 2003-08-10 Ig Nobel Delegations, Tickets, Poster 2003-08-11 Cogno-Babble Limerick Contest 2003-08-12 Hair Hair Hair 2003-08-13 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Southern /Shampoo 2003-08-14 BURSTS OF HotAIR: Referential Ethics, B-Nuts 2003-08-14 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Psychrotrophic Gravy 2003-08-15 AIRhead Events 2003-08-16 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 2003-08-17 Our Address (*) 2003-08-18 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) 2003-08-19 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-02 What's New in the Magazine Volume 9, number 4 (July/August 2003) of the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) is the special CHICKEN & FISH issue. Highlights include: <> "Which Came First, the Chicken or the Egg?" by Alice Shirrell Kaswell. An experiment has provided a clear answer to a longstanding question. This article also appears online, at <> "The Lady and the Bug," by Stephen Drew. The recent unfortunate experience of a young woman, widely reported in the press, is elucidated in a poem. This article also appears online, at <> "Baseball Research Review," by C.T. Newcastle. A review of published scientific and medical research concerning the fabled sport. This article also appears online, at <> "Do Pet Goldfish Really Eat Themselves To Death?" by Antoni Chan, Benjamin Stein, and Kenneth Bromberg. The authors conducted an experiment, the results of which echo the world of the Sopranos. <> "HMO-NO News: Fat Buster!" A new medical regimen finds and destroys fat, in a terribly impressive manner. ...and much more. The complete table of contents can be perused at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-03 Yes, Yes, Yes to No, No, No Success breed success. Denial breeds denial. Combining these two precepts, we proudly announce that our Parks Prohibition Competition is being unprohibitively broadened and re-branded. Investigator B.S. Chandramouly sent in a photograph of a restaurant sign -- at an Irani Restaurant in Bombay -- that says: SORRY NO TALKING TO CASHIER NO SMOKING NO FIGHTING NO CREDIT NO OUTSIDE FOOD NO SITTING LONG NO TALKING LOUD NO SPITTING NO BARGAINING NO WATER TO OUTSIDERS --------------------- NO CHANGE NO TELEPHONE NO MATCH STICKS NO DISCUSSING GAMBLING NO NEWSPAPER NO COMBL[illegible] NO BEEF NO LEG ON CHAIR NO HARD LIQUOR ALLOWED NO ADDRESS ENQUIRY Inspired by this sorry sign, the competition's directors expanded the competition to include not just parks, but institutions of ANY kind. The competition was accordingly renamed. It is now simply THE PROHIBITIONS COMPETITION. To see investigator Chandramouly's splendid, inspirational item, look at: ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-04 Psychiatric Correctness Distilled Thank you to everyone who participated in our PSYCHIATRIC CORRECTNESS SURVEY #86. The survey was based on a headline that appeared in the July 19, 2003 issue of the Washington Post: "Scientists Look for Safer Nut." The survey asked the simple question: Psychiatrically speaking, should scientists look for a safer nut? The survey results: YES: 51% NO: 46% A. SCHWARZENEGGER: 3% ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-05 Fat Scoop (1): The Happiness of Babette There is a new wrinkle, or lack thereof, in the ongoing socio- medical saga that is Botox. An investigator who wishes to remain nameless writes: A few weekend ago, my spouse and I attended our gala 25th college reunion, where we encountered our former classmate Babette B---. As per her hopes and plans, Babette did marry a Harvard man, an eye doctor, who, as she told us, loves her so much that he took a 4-week course so that he could personally administer her Botox. You can imagine how happy she is. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-06 Fat Scoop (2): Inner Celebrity Once again, we must admiringly acknowledge that a major medical institution has one-upped HMO-NO. HMO-NO, as regular AIR readers know, is the organization we founded some years ago to help guide the medical profession in its relentless march into the sea of progress. Now Beth Israel Hospital in New York City has telecast a live video extravaganza consisting of a music-backed surgical journey into the body of a rotund celebrity. You can see and enjoy this entertaining program at: ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-07 What Are They Doing Now? - Jack and Rexella JACK AND REXELLA VAN IMPE, like many Ig Nobel Prize winners, have continued to do vigorous research in their chosen field. In 2001 the Van Impes were awarded an Ig Nobel Prize in the field of astrophysics, "for their discovery that black holes fulfill all the technical requirements to be the location of Hell." Now, in 2003, their extremely far-sighted vision is being tapped by U.S. President George Walker Bush and his crack team of experts. Jack Van Impe explains: "I am not sure whether he knows all of the prophecies and how deep of a student he has been in God's Word, but I was contacted a few weeks ago by the Office of Public Liaison for the White House and by the National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice to make an outline. And I've spent hours preparing it. I will release this information to the public in September, but it's in his hands." Details were on the Van Impes' web site at until a few days ago, but now seem to have been removed, perhaps for reasons of national security. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-08 What Are They Doing Now? - Bow-Lingual BOW-LINGUAL, the computer-based automatic dog-to-human language translation device that earned the 2002 Ig Nobel Peace Prize for its inventors, has just gone on sale in an English-language version. The original translated dog language to Japanese. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-08-A What Are They Doing Now? - E.T. [This just in as mini-AIR went to, er, press!] Yet another past Ig Nobel Prize winner is in the news. In direct contrast with conventional thinking, 80% to 90% of patients with CHD [coronary heart disease] have conventional risk factors. Such is the conclusion reached in a massive study co-authored by none other than ERIC J. TOPOL of the Cleveland Clinic Foundation, and just published in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Topol and 975 co-authors an earlier medical report were awarded the 1993 Ig Nobel Literature Prize "for publishing a medical research paper which has one hundred times as many authors as pages." Topol was the lead author of that study. For a complete list of Topol's co-winners, see . It is possible that some of those co-authors are still unaware of their place in history. ----------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-09 Ferret Toss Poets The judges in the first and last annual FERRET TOSS LIMERICK COMPETITION have chosen the winners, each of whom in some sense explored the research report: "Pharmacological Aspects of Ipecac Syrup (TJN-119)-Induced Emesis in Ferrets," T. Endo, et al., Research Communications in Molecular Pathology and Pharmacology, vol. 108, nos. 3-4, 2000, pp. 187-200. The authors are at Health Sciences University of Hokkaido, Japan. The winners each will receive a free, anti-emesis-inducing issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Here are the poets and their limericks: INVESTIGATOR JIM MORRISSEY: A clever young ferret named Hal Once badly OD'd on mescal. He took ipecac And spewed it right back, Saying, "Thanks be to Endo et al.!" INVESTIGATOR MARTIN EIGER: If you're hoping to hash out a thesis, And stuck for a topic: Emesis, As triggered in ferrets Undoubtedly merits Much more than a mere exegesis. As always, the mention of ipecac proved to be in inspirational to many poets, whose creative urges produced an upwelling of emotive imagery and motile wordplay. Of the many runners-up in the competition, we present this example: INVESTIGATOR BEN MATTHEWS: Give a ferret a bilious attack? Our research suggests ipecac. If one ferret can bear it, Whole families might share it In a snack attack ipecac pack. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-10 Ig Nobel Delegations, Tickets, Poster Here's how to attend the 13th First Annual Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony at Sanders Theatre on Thursday evening, October 2, 2003. [There will also be a live Internet telecast.] TICKETS -- Tickets are available from the Harvard Box Office (Telephone 617-496-2222, open noon to 6 p.m. most days). AUDIENCE DELEGATIONS: If you come to the ceremony with a group of six or more people, you can officially be recognized as an official Delegation. To officially register: FIRST purchase tickets for all the members of your group. THEN call or email Louise Sacco (781 444-6757, lsacco@rcn.com), Grand Panjandrum of the Delegations, to register your delegation. NOTE: The deadline for registering as a delegation is Thursday, Sept. 25. POSTER: A downloadable 8.5" x 11" 2003 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony Poster is at CEREMONY DETAILS: Details are at . ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-11 Cogno-Babble Limerick Contest COGNO-BABBLE LIMERICK CONTEST We invite you to enter the first and last annual COGNO-BABBLE LIMERICK COMPETITION, for the best (NEWLY composed!) limerick that elucidates this research report, which was brought to our attention by investigator Chase K. Dumont: "Operating Principles in Repetitive Babbling: A Cognitive Continuity Approach," L. Elbers, Cognition, vol. 12, no. 1, July 1982, pp. 45-63. RULES: Please make sure your rhymes actually do, and that your limerick at least pretends to adhere to classic limerick form. PRIZE: The winning poet will receive a free, babble-filled issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Send entries (one entry per entrant) to: COGNO-BABBLE LIMERICK CONTEST c/o ----------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-12 Hair Hair Hair The past month has seen a flowing of well-attributed new members into the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists. You can view them, or portions of them, at: ----------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-13 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Southern /Shampoo Each month we select for your special attention a research report that seems especially worth a close read. Your librarian will enjoy being asked (loudly, so other library patrons can hear it) for a copy. Here is this month's Pick-of-the-Month: "Southern Hybridization in Shampoo," B.P. May, Biotechniques, vol. 25, no. 4, 1998, p. 582. (Thanks to Bruce Himelstein for bringing this to our attention.) The author explains that: The detergent SDS is often used to block non-specific binding in nucleic acid hybridization. In its powdered form it is a very noxious and irritating substance. Looking for a cheap pre-dissolved substitute, the author demonstrates the efficiency of White Rain Shampoo at 0.4X concentration as a detergent blocking agent for nucleic acid hybridization. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-14 BURSTS OF HotAIR: Referential Ethics, B-Nuts Here are concise, flighty mentions of some of the features we've posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came out. See the whole list by clicking "WHAT'S NEW" at the web site, or go to: ==> Referential Ethics ==> NOBEL THOUGHTS: Simon van der Meer ==> Biodegradable Nuts ==> The Ersatz Drinking Cup THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT ----------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-14 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Psychrotrophic Gravy DEAD-ON SMELL "Cadaverine as a Putative Component of Oral Malodor," S. Goldberg et al., Journal of Dental Research, vol. 73, no. 6, June 1994, pp. 1168-72. The authors are at the Maurice and Gabriela Goldschleger School of Dental Medicine, Tel Aviv University, Ramat-Aviv, Israel. MIRACLE CURE "Sicarius (Six-Eyed Crab Spider): A Homeopathic Treatment for Ebola Haemorrhagic Fever and Disseminated Intravascular Coagulation?" C. Richardson-Boedler. British Homoeopathic Journal, vol. 88, no. 1, January 1999, pp. 24-7. (Thanks to Aniko Rokolya for bringing this to our attention.) The author of this breakthrough research report can be reached at the following address: 10101 Courtwick Drive, St Louis, MO 63128 - 1610, USA. PSYCHROTROPHIC GRAVY "Influence of Temperature Shifts on Survival, Growth, and Toxin Production by Psychrotrophic and Mesophilic Strains of Bacillus cereus in Potatoes and Chicken Gravy," W. Mahakarnchanakul and L.R. Beuchat, International Journal of Food Microbiology, vol. 47, no. 3, March 1999, pp. 179-87. (Thanks to Antoine Vekris for bringing this to our attention.) ------------------------------------------------------------ 2003-08-15 AIRhead Events ==> For details and updates see ==> Want to host an event? 617-491-4437 13TH FIRST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY - THU, OCT 2, 2003 Sanders Theatre, Harvard University, Cambridge, MA 7:30 PM. Tickets available from the Harvard Box Office. Live Internet telecast. INFO: IG INFORMAL LECTURES - SAT, OCT 4, 2003 1:00 PM. MIT, Building 54, Room 100 This event is free. INFO: ----------------- CALTECH, PASADENA, CALIFORNIA - TUES, JANUARY 27, 2004 Details TBA. AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, SEATTLE, WASHINGTON - FEBRUARY, 2004 Annual AIR special session as part of the annual meeting of the American Association for the Advancement of Science. Details TBA. ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND - MARCH, 2004 IG NOBEL / AIR Tour will be a featured part of the UK's NATIONAL SCIENCE WEEK.AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS, numerous IG NOBEL WINNERS, and other of Britain's most and least celebrated scientist will do improbable public shows in various cities. Details TBA. -------------------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-16 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you've been reading in this newsletter). ................................................................ Name: Address: Address: City and State: Zip or postal code: Country Phone: FAX: E-mail: ................................................................ SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): USA 1 yr/$29 2 yrs/$53 Canada/Mexico 1 yr/$33 US 2 yrs/$57 US Overseas 1 yr/$45 US 2 yrs/$82 US ................................................................ BACK ISSUES are available, too: First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues purchased at same time: $6 each ................................................................ Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 ----------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-17 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: --------------------------- 2003-08-18 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Abrahams CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, S. Drew MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts (c) copyright 2003, Annals of Improbable Research ----------------------------------------------------- 2003-08-19 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ---------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR ============================================================