PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue Number 2003-03 March, 2003 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 2003-03-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 2003-03-01 Table of Contents 2003-03-02 Soon 2003-03-03 What's New in the Magazine 2003-03-04 Being N. G. Mankiw 2003-03-05 Duct Tape Opera 2003-03-06 Turkish Pepper (Hot) Poets 2003-03-07 Reputed Researchers 2003-03-08 Arithmetic Question Correction 2003-03-09 Tentative Anti-Discovery 2003-03-10 Obstacles to Diplomacy 2003-03-11 A Pair of Four Murrays 2003-03-12 Aurous Alfalfa Limerick Contest 2003-03-13 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Pot Shots at Elders' Odors 2003-03-14 BURSTS OF HotAIR: Catz Correction, Hair, and Vents 2003-03-15 MAY WE RECOMMEND: False-Age-O Duet 2003-03-16 AIRhead Events 2003-03-17 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 2003-03-18 Our Address (*) 2003-03-19 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) 2003-03-20 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-02 Soon The IG NOBEL / AIR TOUR for National Science Week in the UK will include shows in: LONDON -- FRI, MAR 7 MANCHESTER -- MON, MAR 10 EDINBURGH -- TUE, MAR 11 LEICESTER -- WED, MAR 12 BRISTOL -- THU, MAR 13 OXFORD -- FRI, MAR 14 For details and tickets, see and Please spread the word. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-03 What's New in the Magazine AIR volume 9, number 2 (March/April 2003) is a special DISMAL SCIENCE & POETRY issue. It will be emerging from the printers in mid- March, packed full of dismal poetry and science. The issue contains, among many other things, a novel and fairly appetizing approach to bean counting (as that concept applies to soup). It also contains -- well, see the next item... ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-04 Being N.G. Mankiw N. Gregory Mankiw has just been nominated to become the new chairman of the U.S. Council of Economic Advisers. His widely used economics textbook "Principles of Economics" happens to be the subject of the cover story in the March/April issue of AIR. The Mankiwsical article also appears on our web site, at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-05 Duct Tape Opera Many readers in the U.S. have reminded us that duct tape, which the nation's current Authority Figures recently identified as the key to security and clean air, was the subject of a mini-opera performed as part of the 1998 Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. The libretto can be seen at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-06 Turkish Pepper (Hot) Poets The judges in the first and last annual TURKISH PEPPER (HOT) LIMERICK COMPETITION drew a large number of entries. The judges fortified themselves with Fisherman's Friend and then with Turkish Pepper (hot), before plunging into their task. Here are the winning limericks that explore the research report: "Turkish Pepper (Extra Hot)," A. Woywodt, A. Herrmann, M. Choi, U. Goebel, and F.C. Luft, Postgraduate Medical Journal, vol. 76, no. 897, July 2000, pp. 426-8. [for a fuller citation, see last month's mini-AIR] The winners each will receive a free, extra hot issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Here are the poets and their limericks: Dr. Woywodt, the lead author of the study, has written to offer his prospective congratulations to the winners. The winners are: INVESTIGATOR LINDA FELVER (who had a double entry): Doctors Woywodt and Hermann and Choi Found the candy and chortled for joy. Turkish pepper was hot; They wrote up the lot, Gained promotion and tenure -- oh boy! * * * Glycyrrhiza in form of a sweet Makes a surprising aldosterone treat. But Fisherman's Friend is a foe in the end. Turkish pepper? That, too, brings defeat. INVESTIGATOR MATTHEW VOSBURGH If your blood pressure starts to ascend, don't think it means you've met your end. Doc Woywodt's your saviour: "Stop your misbehaviour - Stop sucking that Fisherman's Friend!" ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-07 Reputed Researchers Do you know someone who is a reputed researcher? Investigator Jim Law recommends a conference that you might wish to bring to their attention. The conference announcement reads as follows: SIXTH INTERNATIONAL CONFERENCE ON INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY (CIT-2003) Bhubaneswar, India, December 22-25, 2003, www.citconference.org The goal of CIT is to provide a high quality forum for scientists and engineers to present their latest research findings on all topics in the area of information technology. The last five conferences attracted reputed researchers from around the world. Further details reputedly are at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-08 Arithmetic Question Correction Last month's Arithmetic Question contained two typographical errors. We apologize to the many readers who submitted detailed, close-reasoned, lengthy solutions to what was, unfortunately, the wrong question, and who consequently had their entries disqualified. Here is the CORRECTED question: It takes Mr. Rael one week to clone a Dr. Brigitte. It takes Dr. Brigitte one hour to clone one press release. If Mr. Rael keeps cloning Dr. Brigittes, and each Dr. Brigitte keeps cloning press releases, how long will it take Mr. Rael and the Dr. Brigittes to cover the surface of the earth exactly 23 times with press releases? This, too, we leave this as an exercise for the by now presumably not very interested reader. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-09 Tentative Anti-Discovery INVESTIGATOR GARY DRYFOOS has observed a puzzling new phenomenon: You will be interested to know that our Spam filter (at MIT) has determined that not only does Mini-AIR not qualify as Spam, it actually has a NEGATIVE Spam-Score -- the first time I have ever seen that. } X-Spam-Flag: NO } X-Spam-Score: -1.9, Required 7.5 Even mail from personal friends usually manages to score at least a 0.5 or so (with 7.5 required to trip the Spam-Flag.) Congratulations for something or other ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-10 Obstacles to Diplomacy In conjunction there is sometimes innovation. INVESTIGATOR S. FRIEDHOFF reports: On our local television channel 7 a few weeks ago, they had a report about lice in headsets in music stores. This was immediately after Colin Powell had finished his speech to the United Nations. Thus, right after we had seen all those by-now-strangely-familiar UN faces readjusting their headsets and listening carefully with the big headphones on their ears, we saw what's in their supposedly harmless devices: monsters with scissors on their heads! ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-11 A Pair of Four Murrays The newest additions to the Multiplicity of Monikers Research Citation Collection (MoMRCC) were contributed by INVESTIGATOR NORBERT HIRSCHHORN. Investigator Hirschhorn studies Murrays: "Rarity of Plantar Warts in Cushite Nomads: Antiviral Effect of Milk?" J.M. Murray, A.B. Murray, M.B. Murray, and C.J. Murray, Lancet, vol. 2, no. 8186, July 19, 1980, pp. 143-4. "The Biological Suppression of Malaria: An Ecological and Nutritional Interrelationship of a Host and Two Parasites," J. Murray, A. Murray, M. Murray, and C. Murray, American Journal of Clinical Nutrition, vol. 31, no. 8, August 1978, pp. 1363-6. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-12 Aurous Alfalfa Limerick Contest We invite you to enter the first and last annual AUROUS ALFALFA LIMERICK COMPETITION, for the best (NEWLY composed!) limerick that elucidates this research report, which was brought to our attention by investigators Danny O'Hare et al.: "Recovery of Gold(III) From Multi-Elemental Solutions By Alfalfa Biomass," G. Gamez, J.L. Gardea-Torresdey, K.J. Tiemann, J. Parsons, K. Dokken, and M. Jose Yacaman, Advances in Environmental Research, vol. 7, no. 2, pp 563-71. RULES: Please make sure your rhymes actually do, and that your limerick at least pretends to adhere to classic limerick form. PRIZE: The winning poet will receive a free, peppery issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Send entries (one entry per entrant) to: AUROUS ALFALFA LIMERICK CONTEST c/o ----------------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-13 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Pot Shots at Elders' Odors Each month we select for your special attention a research report that seems especially worth a close read. Your librarian will enjoy being asked (loudly, so other library patrons can hear it) for a copy. Here is this month's Pick-of-the-Month: "Characteristics of Potted Plants For Removing Offensive Odors," Takashi Oyabu, Ayako Sawada, Takeshi Onodera, Kozaburo Takenaka, and Bill Wolverton, Sensors and Actuators B: Chemical, vol. 89, nos. 1-2, March 1, 2003, pp. 131-6. (Thanks to Kristine Danowski for bringing this to our attention.) The authors explain that: Hydrogen sulfide (H2S), ammonia (NH3) and methyl mercaptan (CH3SH) are the three main offensive odors in a nursing home. It is strongly desired to develop an effective method for reducing those substances. In this study, the pollutant-removing characteristics of a potted plant for three substances, ammonia, formaldehyde and acetone, are examined using a tin oxide gas sensor. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-14 BURSTS OF HotAIR: Catz Correction, Hair, and Vents Here are concise, flighty mentions of some of the features we've posted on HotAIR since last month's mini-AIR came out. See the whole list by clicking "WHAT'S NEW" at the web site, or go to: NOTE: Last month we gave an incorrect URL for "Catz: Got Your Tongue." The correct one is: ==> Many New Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club members ==> AIR Vents (from AIR 8-6), parts 1,2,3, and 4 of 3 ==> The Committee on Committees of the Year Award ==> FOREIGN CORRESPONDENCE -- The Producers THESE, AND MORE, ARE ON HOTAIR AT ----------------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-15 MAY WE RECOMMEND: False-Age-O Duet FALSE-AGE-O (1) "College-Age Males' Ability to Produce the Acoustic Properties of an Aging Voice," R.K. Manning, D. Fucci, and R. Dean, Perceptual and Motor Skills, vol. 94, no. 3, part 1, June 2002, pp. 767-71. The authors, who are at Ohio University, Athens, Ohio, explain their research thusly: The purpose of this study was to examine college-age males' ability to produce the acoustic properties of the normally aging voice when reading.... the reader imitated the voice of a normally aging 70-yr.-old man. FALSE-AGE-O (2) "College-Age Males' Ability to Produce the Acoustic Properties of an Aging Voice: Some Suggestions For Further Exploration," S.P. Whiteside, Perceptual and Motor Skills, vol. 95 no. 3, part 1, December 2002, pp. 843-4. The author, who is at University of Sheffield, explains that: Manning, et al. recently reported on the ability of college-age males to imitate the voice of an aging male. This commentary briefly discusses how their data could be extended to support their published findings. ------------------------------------------------------------ 2003-03-16 AIRhead Events ==> For details and updates see ==> Want to host an event? 617-491-4437 "CAFE SCIENTIFIQUE," CAMBRIDGE, MA -- MON, MAR 3, 2003 6:00 PM AIR Editor MARC ABRAHAMS will discuss how to win an Ig Nobel Prize Red Line restaurant/bar 59 JFK St, Cambridge, MA INFO: ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND -- MAR 7-14, 2003 IG NOBEL / AIR Tour as part of the UK's NATIONAL SCIENCE WEEK. AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS, numerous IG NOBEL PRIZE WINNERS, and other of BRITAIN'S MOST AND LEAST CELEBRATED SCIENTISTS will perform improbable public shows that will also include the nationwide contest to identify BRITAIN'S MOST SUCCINCT SCIENTIST. The schedule: LONDON -- FRI, MAR 7, 2003 MANCHESTER -- MON, MAR 10, 2003 EDINBURGH -- TUE, MAR 11, 2003 LEICESTER -- WED, MAR 12, 2003 BRISTOL -- THU, MAR 13, 2003 OXFORD -- FRI, MAR 14, 2003 The tour is co-sponsored by the British Assn for the Advancement of Science and by the Times Higher Education Supplement. INFO: and also TICKETS: PRESS INFO: Annette Smith, annette.smith@the-ba.net, 020 7973 3075 MICHIGAN TECH, HOUGHTON, MI -- TUES, APRIL 8, 2003 8:00 PM, Rozsa Center for the Performing Arts INFO: Valerie Pegg, vepegg@mtu.edu, 906-487-2844 THIRTEENTH 1ST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY - THU, OCT 2, 2003 Sanders Theatre, Harvard University, Cambridge, MA INFO: -------------------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-17 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you've been reading in this newsletter). ................................................................ Name: Address: Address: City and State: Zip or postal code: Country Phone: FAX: E-mail: ................................................................ SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): USA 1 yr/$29 2 yrs/$53 Canada/Mexico 1 yr/$33 US 2 yrs/$57 US Overseas 1 yr/$45 US 2 yrs/$82 US ................................................................ BACK ISSUES are available, too: First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues purchased at same time: $6 each ................................................................ Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 ----------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-18 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: --------------------------- 2003-03-19 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne DISTRIBUTIVE EDITOR: Robin Pearce CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, S. Drew MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts (c) copyright 2003, Annals of Improbable Research ----------------------------------------------------- 2003-03-20 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ---------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR ============================================================