PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE

=========================================================

The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")

December 2008, Issue number 2008-12. ISSN 1076-500X.

----------------------------------------------------------

A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in

Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)

This issue at

<http://www.improbable.com/airchives/miniair/2008/mini2008-12.htm>

Archive at <http://improbable.com/airchives/miniair/>

Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the

=========================================================

-----------------------------

2008-12-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS

2008-12-02 Imminent Events

2008-12-03 What's New in the Magazine: The Ig Issue

2008-12-04 A Random Mystery: Is There a Stochastic Association?

2008-12-05 Echoes from the Salute to Smets

2008-12-06 Most-Absurd-Drug-Names — Selection #5

2008-12-07 That-Which-Lurketh-Between

2008-12-08 Orange Proton Spin Relaxation Time Competition

2008-12-09 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Nauseating Walk Around a Pole

2008-12-10 OTHER RECENT IMPROBABILITIES: Date, Nut, 2012, Dormice

2008-12-11 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Coins at Sea, Six Guesses

2008-12-12 Improbable Research Events

2008-12-13 -- How to Subscribe to AIR (*)

2008-12-14 -- Our Address (*)

2008-12-15 -- Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)

2008-12-16 -- How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.

mini-AIR is

a free monthly *e-supplement* to the print magazine

Annals of Improbable Research

----------------------------------------------------------

2008-12-03 What's New in the Magazine: The Ig Issue

The Nov/Dec 2008 issue (vol. 14, no. 6) is the special Ig Nobel

issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. It will emerge soon

from the printer, speeding straight to subscribers' doorsteps.

(And of course a subscription — to pleasing paper or to hi-res

PFDs — makes a perfect holiday or non-holiday gift.)

The Ig issue will also be available free online. Many back issues

are online, too, at <http://www.improbable.com/magazine/>

----------------------------------------------------------

2008-12-04 A Random Mystery: Is There a Stochastic Association?

Help us solve a stochastic mystery. (The word "stochastic" of

course means "having to do with randomness.")

We stumbled across two book reviews attributed to the "Journal of

the American Stochastic Association." But we have not yet

succeeded in finding any further trace of that journal — or of

the American Stochastic Association.

A review <http://tinyurl.com/58gohh> of J. Michael Steel's book

Stochastic Calculus and Financial Applications raves:

"This is one of the most interesting and easiest reads

in the discipline; a gem of a book."

A review <http://tinyurl.com/5gb8ye> of Robert S. Liptser et

al.'s two-volume book Statistics of Random Processes raves:

"These two classic volumes are very important resources

for both probabilists and statisticians."

But...

Is or was there a Journal of the American Stochastic Association?

Is or was there an American Stochastic Association?

If you have definite knowledge of the existence or nonexistence

of either entity, please send it (the evidence) here.

----------------------------------------------------------

2008-12-05 Echoes from the Salute to Smets

Three very excited scientists, each from a different city in

France, emailed us about the identity of Professor Philippe Smets

of the Université Libre de Bruxelles, celebrated here last month

as the author of studies on the necessity of the pignistic

transformation and the generalized pignistic transformation.

According to each of these three vibrant individuals, "Professor

Philippe Smets" is leading a double or perhaps even triple life —

— having been born with the name "Jean-Philippe Smet" and then

attaining fame as a singer, under the name "Johnny Hallyday," and

only subsequent to that becoming a professor. A photo and other

information about the musical incarnation (including his

involvement with a clothier called "Smetshop") is

<http://tinyurl.com/6g8kcp>.

A photo and other info about the pignistical incarnation is at

<http://tinyurl.com/5ut8hu>.

Our preliminary investigation suggests that Smets and Smet may be

two distinct persons, only one of whom is currently alive. But we

will not give up hope until and unless forced to.

----------------------------------------------------------

2008-12-06 Most-Absurd-Drug-Names — Selection #5

Still further submissions — the last batch we'll present for a

while, as these names are numbing — for the Most-Absurd-Drug-Name

Compendium:

Certolizumab pegol

http://tinyurl.com/5vpalr

Submitted by investigator Odie Geiger

Cisplatin

http://tinyurl.com/55jreh

Submitted by investigator Nicola Goodman

Drotrecogin alfa and eptacog alfa

http://tinyurl.com/6zqcts and http://tinyurl.com/6qbafj

Submitted by investigator Dougald Monroe

----------------------------------------------------------

2008-12-07 That-Which-Lurketh-Between

The judges have chosen a winner in the That-Which-Lurketh-Between

Limerick Competition, which asked for a limerick to honor the

study "Toewebs as a Source of Gram-Negative Bacilli," W.C. Noble,

et al., Journal of Hospital Infection, vol. 8, November 1986, pp.

248-56. <http://tinyurl.com/6a4pdy>.

The winner is INVESTIGATOR KNOWN AS "CUTTLEFISH", whose slightly

ungrammatical creation reads:

The violet Gram-staining shows

Pathogenic bacteria grows

(If you work where it's wet,

Then you knew this, I'd bet)

In the webbing connecting your toes!

And who offers a second helping:

Since bacteria thrive where it's wettish,

Be safe, when you get heavy-pettish:

If you're dating a miner

You will find it benigner

To pass, on that toe-sucking fetish.

Here's the offering from LIMERICK LAUREATE MARTIN EIGER:

It's the well-informed reader who knows

What interdactylously grows.

Can it harm us or kill us,

This dreaded bacillus,

That's down there, right now, in your toes?

(Eiger adds: "The English language appears to lack a pretentious

adverb that refers to the spaces between toes. I propose a humble

remedy for this tragic oversight.")

----------------------------------------------------------

2008-12-08 Orange Proton Spin Relaxation Time Competition

Orange proton spin relaxation time is the subject of this month's

limerick competition. To enter, compose an original limerick that

illuminates the nature of this report:

"Proton Spin–Spin Relaxation Time of Peel and Flesh

of Navel Orange Varieties Exposed to Freezing Temperature,"

Prem N Gambhir, Young J Choi, David C Slaughter,

James F Thompson and Michael J McCarthy, Journal of the

Science of Food and Agriculture, vol. 85, 2005, pp. 2482–6.

(Thanks to Alison Brown for bringing this

to our attention.) <http://tinyurl.com/18r>

RULES: Please make sure your rhymes actually do, and that your

poem is in classic, trips-off-the-tongue limerick form.

PRIZE: The winning poet will receive (if we manage to send it to

the correct address) a free, possibly relaxed high-res PDF issue

of the Annals of Improbable Research. Send entries (one entry per

entrant) to:

ORANGE PROTON SPIN LIMERICK COMPETITION

c/o <marca AT chem2.harvard.edu>

----------------------------------------------------------

2008-12-09 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Nauseating Walk Around a Pole

This month's specially selected study explores the bravery of

volunteers. It's:

"Susceptibility to Motion Sickness Induced by Optokinetic

Rotation and Self-Rotation by Walking Around a Vertical Pole," S.

Hu and Y.J. Luo, Perceptual and Motor Skills, vol. 93, no. 1,

August 2001, pp. 289-96. The authors, are at Humboldt State

University, Arcata, CA, summarize their experiment thusly:

"31 subjects viewed an optokinetic rotating drum for 12 min. in

one session and self-rotated by walking quickly around a vertical

pole with eyes closed while alternately flexing and extending the

neck in another session.... The subjects developed symptoms of

nausea, sweating, dizziness, headache, drowsiness, and changes in

salivation in both drum rotation and self-rotation sessions.

However, the subjects reported higher ratings of nausea in the

session of optokinetic rotation than in the session of self-

rotation around a vertical pole."

----------------------------------------------------------

2008-12-10 OTHER RECENT IMPROBABILITIES: Date, Nut, 2012, Dormice

Improbable TV collections:

<http://improbable.com/tv/>

<> Date with Professor L., and a close look at the eternal

quarrel about the nut.

Blog items:

<http://improbable.com/>

<> Ig Nobel winner's balls and brains

<> A happy/unhappy new pair of studies

<> Who will win the 2012 U.S. presidential election

<> Adventures of a new museum director

Newspaper columns:

<http://tinyurl.com/6o348d>

<> On the trail of evil and wickedness

<> Guéguen's big bust experiments

<> Dishing up dormice delight

New Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists Members:

<http://tinyurl.com/25lmfb>

-----------------------------------------------------------

2008-12-11 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Coins at Sea, Six Guesses

CURRENCY FLOW

"Origin, Evolution and Circulation of Foreign Coins in the Indian

Ocean: Proceeding of the Numismatic Workshop 'Origin and

Evolution of Coins' and the International Seminar, Colombo, 8–10

September 1994," Osmund Bopearachchi and D. P. M. Weerakkody,

eds. Manohar Publishers & Distributors Ltd., New Delhi, 1998.

(Thanks to Richard Bleiler for bringing this to our attention.)

GUESSED QUEST

"Six Hypotheses in Search of a Theorem," Harry Buhrman, Lance

Fortnow, and Leen Torenvliet, Proceedings of the 12th IEEE

Conference on Computational Complexity, 1997, pp. 2-12. (Thanks

to David Molnar and Jan Johannsen for bringing this to our

attention.)

------------------------------------------------------------

2008-12-12 Improbable Research Events

For details and additional events, see

<http://improbable.com/improbable-research-shows/complete-schedule>

AAAS Meeting, Chicago — Feb 13, 2009

Ig Nobel Tour of the UK — Mar 6-15, 2009

SciFest Africa, Grahamstown, South Africa — Mar 25-26 2009

CSE, Pittsburgh, PA — May 4, 2009

--------------------------------------------------------------

2008-12-13 -- How to Subscribe to AIR (*)

The Annals of Improbable Research is a 6-issues-per-year

magazine. (It's bigger and better than the little bits of

overflow material you've been reading in this newsletter). The

online version is at <http://www.improbable.com/magazine/>.

To subscribe to the paper-and-ink version, go to

<http://improbable.com/subscribe/> or send in this form:

..........................................................

Name:

Address:

City and State:

Zip or postal code:

Country

Phone: FAX: E-mail:

.........................................................

SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year):

USA 1 yr/$35 2 yrs/$63

Canada/Mexico 1 yr/$42 US 2 yrs/$72 US

Overseas 1 yr/$53 US 2 yrs/$97 US

.........................................................

Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or

Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to:

Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)

PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA

617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 <air AT improbable.com>

-----------------------------------------------------

2008-12-14 -- Our Address (*)

Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)

PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA

617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927

EDITORIAL: marca AT chem2.harvard.edu

SUBSCRIPTIONS: subscriptions AT improbable.com

WEB SITE: <http://www.improbable.com>

-----------------------------------------------------

2008-12-15 -- Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)

Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever

appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that

the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-

AIR for commercial purposes.

------------- mini-AIRheads -------------

EDITOR: Marc Abrahams

MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last

few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson

COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen

ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne

PSYCHOLOGY EDITOR: Robin Abrahams

CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest

Ersatz, S. Drew

MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto

AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon

Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts

-----------------------------------------------------

2008-12-16 -- How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!)

tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine.

----------------------------

To subscribe or unsubscribe, please visit

<http://chem.harvard.edu/mailman/listinfo/mini-air>

======================================================