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The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR")

Issue number 2008-03

March 2008

ISSN 1076-500X

Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the

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A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in

Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)

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2008-03-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS

2008-03-02 Imminent Events

2008-03-03 What's New in the Magazine

2008-03-04 How to Drastically Reduce Crime

2008-03-05 Dekay, an Emblematic Man

2008-03-06 Self and Fruits and Vegetables

2008-03-07 2008 Yet Another S-Kitty Question:

2008-03-08 Side-Scan Steep-Slope Sonographs Poet

2008-03-09 Shuffling/Hitching/Scooting/Sliding Competition

2008-03-10 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Baking by the Dead

2008-03-11 BLOGLIGHTS: Mafia Threatens Threatened-Species Folks

2008-03-12 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Cognitive Head-Itch, Laid-on Sense

2008-03-13 Improbable Research Events

2008-03-14 -- How to Subscribe to AIR (*)

2008-03-15 -- Our Address (*)

2008-03-16 -- Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)

2008-03-17 -- How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.

mini-AIR is

a free monthly *e-supplement* to the print magazine

Annals of Improbable Research

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2008-03-02 Imminent Events

2008 Ig Nobel Tour of the UK -- March 6-14, 2008

Oxford (Mar 6)

London (Mar 11 & 12)

Newcastle (Mar 14)

Tickets are free, but not many are left. If you want to come (and

we hope you do), please reserve them ASAP. Details:

<http://improbable.com/improbable-research-shows/ig-uk-tour/>

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2008-03-03 What's New in the Magazine

The entire magazine -- the Annals of Improbable Research -- is

now online for free for all. Open access, open access, we repeat.

The March/April 2008 issue (vol. 14, no. 2,) will be a special

Writing Research issue.

The Jan/Feb issue and many others are online at

<http://www.improbable.com/magazine/>

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2008-03-04 How to Drastically Reduce Crime

Crime rates can be much lower than they are.

A study by the Pew Center on the States says that more than one percent

of the U.S. adult population is in prison. The study suggests that the

high cost of running a gigantic-and-growing prison system make it hard

for the country to fund its other needs.

A February 28, 2008 New York Times article says: "But Paul Cassell, a

law professor at the University of Utah and a former federal judge,

said the Pew report considered only half of the cost-benefit equation

and overlooked the 'very tangible benefits - lower crime rates.'"

Professor Cassell is overly cautious. The crime rate can be further

reduced by incarcerating more U.S. citizens. Prudence (and a healthy

fear of crime) dictates that if 100% of all U.S. adult citizens were

put in prison, the crime rate would drop to a level acceptable to

almost everyone.

The Pew Study:

<http://www.pewcenteronthestates.org/uploadedFiles/One%20in%20100.pdf>

The times article:

<http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/28/us/28cnd-prison.html?hp>

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2008-03-05 Dekay, an Emblematic Man

This month's Dentist of the Month is:

Eldon L. Dekay, MS, DMD

Eagle River, Arkansas, USA

<http://tinyurl.com/29a7ay>

(Thanks to Jeff Blair, DMD, for bringing Dr. Dekay to our

attention.)

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2008-03-06 Self and Fruits and Vegetables

Self is centered on fruits and vegetables and ultrasound.

Self is a scientist better known as "G. Self" who is, or at least

was, based at the University of Leeds. Look on his works, ye

Mighty, and despair!:

"Ultrasonic Determination of the Adiabatic Compressibility of

Carrot Cells"

"Ultrasonic Determination of Harvest Maturity in Banana"

"An Investigation Of Gas Bodies In Potatoes Using Ultrasound"

If these not be enough, see a fuller list of Self-fulfilled

writings at <http://tinyurl.com/2ayro7>.

(Thanks to Adrian Smith for bringing G. Self's supervisor, M.

Povey, and thus, indirectly, Self himself, to our attention.)

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2008-03-07 2008 Yet Another S-Kitty Question:

Investigator Earle E. Spamer of The American Philosophical

Society inquires:

***

May I suggest a new feature: "Great Unanswered Questions in the

History of Science." First up: "Did Erwin Schrödinger own a cat?

If so, when did it die?"

***

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2008-03-08 Side-Scan Steep-Slope Sonographs Poet

The judges have chosen a winner for last month's Side-Scan Steep-

Slope Sonographs Competition, which asked for a limerick to honor

the study "Side-Scan Sonographs of Steep Slopes in the Wushieh

Reservoir," G.S. Song, International Journal of Remote Sensing,

vol. 28, no. 8, January 2007, pp. 1857-71.

<http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/01431160600935612>

The winner and her limerick are:

INVESTIGATOR PETRA BAILEY:

Side-scanning's a human's best hope

To measure a subsurface slope.

(But diving giraffes

Don't need sonographs --

They just need a measuring rope.)

AND HERE IS THE ASSESSMENT FROM LIMERICK LAUREATE MARTIN EIGER:

When the reservoir's water is deep,

Use sonar to find out how steep

The walls are, and tow

The transducer below

At the optimum height for each beep.

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2008-03-09 Shuffling/Hitching/Scooting/Sliding Competition

Shuffling, Hitching, Scooting and Sliding are the subject of this

month's limerick competition. To enter, compose an original

limerick that illuminates the nature of this report:

* * *

"Shuffling, Hitching, Scooting or Sliding: Some Observations in

30 Otherwise Normal Children," R. Robson, Developmental Medicine

and Child Neurology, vol. 12, 1970, pp. 608-17.

* * *

RULES: Please make sure your rhymes actually do, and that your

poem is in classic, trips-off-the-tongue limerick form.

PRIZE: The winning poet will receive a (if we manage to send it

to the correct address) a free, possibly shuffled issue of the

Annals of Improbable Research. Send entries (one entry per

entrant) to:

Shuffling/Hitching LIMERICK COMPETITION

c/o <marca AT chem2.harvard.edu>

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2008-03-10 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Baking by the Dead

This month's specially selected study is:

"Preserving Our Musical Heritage: A Musician's Outreach to Audio

Engineers," Mickey Hart, Journal of the Audio Engineering

Society, vol. 49, no. 7/8, July/August 2001, pp. 667-70. (Thanks

to Tom Roberts for bringing this to our attention.) The author,

the drummer for the Grateful Dead, explains:

"A number of prized tapes in the Grateful Dead vault were

recorded during the years between 1976 and 1981. Much of the

magnetic tape manufactured during that period of time has

exhibited a problem called shedding.... The situation can be

corrected very simply by baking. We have a custom-built

convection oven that keeps a constant temperature (+- 1/10 of a

degree over a specified time). We can bake a number of tapes at a

time (four 10-inch reels of 2-inch tape or ten 7-inch reels of

1/4-inch tape). We bake them for 12 hours at 130o F, with 30-

minute warm-up and cool-down times.... The benefits of the baking

process will last approximately 30 days, but it is best that the

tape be used as soon as possible after baking. In a very few

instances, a second baking may be necessary under a particularly

difficult condition, but so far we have been able to retrieve

everything we attempted."

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2008-03-11 BLOGLIGHTS: Mafia Threatens Threatened-Species Folks

Here are some recent topics in our blog:

<> The Condimentary Preferences of Drosophila

<> Mafia threatens threatened-species scientists

(file under: sleeping with fishes)

<> Cranberry quotations: What is reality?

<> History of the sandwich (1950)

<> Poison in the not-so-deep

and some from the newspaper column in The Guardian:

<> Music to stand bolt upright to

<> Putting Pressure on a Penguin

<> The Administration of Chairs, literally

... and others

Read the blog

every day at <http://www.improbable.com>

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2008-03-12 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Cognitive Head-Itch, Laid-on Sense

AN ITCH IN THE HEAD

"Identifying Properties of Tunes That Get 'Stuck in Your Head':

Toward a Theory of Cognitive Itch," James J. Kellaris, in Susan

E. Heckler and Stewart Shapiro, editors, Proceedings of the

Society for Consumer Psychology Winter 2001 Conference,

Scottsdale, AZ, American Psychological Society. (Thanks to

Jeffrey Hatmaker for bringing this to our attention.)

SEEKS SENSE

"The Search For a Biosensor as a Witness of a Human Laying on

Hands Ritual," R. Van Wijk and E.P.A. Van Wijk, Alternative

Therapies, vol. 9, no. 2, 2003, pp. 48-55. (Thanks to Kristine

Danowski for bringing this to our attention.)

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2008-03-13 Improbable Research Events

For details and additional events, see

<http://improbable.com/improbable-research-shows/complete-schedule>

IG NOBEL UK TOUR -- MAR 6-14, 2008

AMERICAN SOCIETY FOR MASS SPECTROMETRY (ASMS) ANNUAL CONFERENCE,

DENVER -- JUN 1, 2008

CHELTENHAM SCIENCE FESTIVAL, UK -- JUN 7, 2008

IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY -- OCT 2, 2008

IG INFORMAL LECTURES -- OCT 4, 2008

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2008-03-14 -- How to Subscribe to AIR (*)

The Annals of Improbable Research is a 6-issues-per-year

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2008-03-15 -- Our Address (*)

Annals of Improbable Research (AIR)

PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA

617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927

EDITORIAL: marca AT chem2.harvard.edu

SUBSCRIPTIONS: air AT improbable.com

WEB SITE: <http://www.improbable.com>

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2008-03-16 -- Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*)

Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever

appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that

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AIR for commercial purposes.

------------- mini-AIRheads -------------

EDITOR: Marc Abrahams

MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last

few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson

COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen

ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne

PSYCHOLOGY EDITOR: Robin Abrahams

CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest

Ersatz, S. Drew

MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto

AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon

Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts

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2008-03-17 -- How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*)

What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!)

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