PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue number 2006-01 January 2006 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the bi-monthly paper magazine Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) ================================================================ ----------------------------- 2006-01-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 2006-01-02 Imminent Events 2006-01-03 What's New in the Magazine 2006-01-04 Professor-Professors 2006-01-05 Blackboard Legend: Phillip Phillips 2006-01-06 Rapid Vapid Response 2006-01-07 Party Guide for Scientists 2006-01-08 Know-Thine-Own-Self Survey, Part 2 Results 2006-01-09 Damn-the-Editor Evidence 2006-01-10 Pasta-Grasp Poet 2006-01-11 Further Hair (LFHCfS) 2006-01-12 Red-Ants-With-Green-Beards Limerick Contest 2006-01-13 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Post-Op Hiccups 2006-01-14 On Our Blog 2006-01-15 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Coffee & Banana-Doughnut Wavefronts 2006-01-16 Improbable Research Events 2006-01-17 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 2006-01-18 Our Address (*) 2006-01-19 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) 2006-01-20 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to the print magazine Annals of Improbable Research ---------------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-02 Imminent Events ST. LOUIS, AAAS Annual Meeting -- FRI NIGHT, FEB 17, 2006 for details see Section 2006-01-16, below. IG NOBEL TOUR OF THE U.K. -- MAR 10-19, 2006 Details to be announced soon. If your institution would like to host an event, please email ASAP. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-03 What's New in the Magazine The Jan/Feb issue (vol. 12, no. 1) of the Annals of Improbable Research is the annual special FAME & FORTUNE issue. Highlights include: <> "Measuring Fame Qualitatively (3): What Does it Take to Make the 'A' List?" by Eric Schulman. <> Measuring Celebrity," by Leslie Lamport. <> The Adventures of B. Whitcombe, Physician," by Anan Swift. <> "Improbable Research Review," by Dirk Manley. <> "Improbable Medical Review," by Bertha Vanation. <> "Boys Will Be Boys," by Katherine Lee. ... and much more. The issue will be emerging from the printer quite soon now. To subscribe (6 paper issues per year) see Section 2006-01-17, below. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-04 Professor-Professors Here here are are some some more more professor-professors. Last month we announced Project Professor-Professor, the prodigious international effort to identify and list all active research professors whose first and last names are identical. Here, joining Professor Abraham Abraham and Professor Warren Warren (who were featured last month), are other professor- professors: SIMONE SIMONE Associate Professor Bari University . You can peruse one of Simone Simone's published papers here: (Thanks to INVESTIGATOR MAURO A. CREMONINI for bringing this professor-professor to our attention.) VITTORIA VITTORIA Professore Ordinario di Chimica Industriale University of Salerno (Thanks to INVESTIGATOR MAURO A. CREMONINI for bringing this professor-professor, too, to our attention.) SHALABY SHALABY Adjunct Professor of Bioengineering Clemson University (Thanks to INVESTIGATOR LARRY DOE for bringing this professor- professor to our attention. Investigator Doe writes: "Dr. Shalaby was a few years ahead of me at Lowell Tech. He actually holds two Ph.D.'s, one in Chemistry and a second in Polymer science -- both from the Chemistry department -- so he is either: Dr. Dr. Shalaby W. Shalaby; or Shalaby W. Shalaby, Ph.D., Ph.D.) A further further selection selection will appear here next month. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-05 Blackboard Legend: Phillip Phillips Near-professor-professors -- professors whose first and last names differ by a letter -- are in some cases worthy of study. INVESTIGATOR CRIST J. CLARK writes about one specially skilled example: "Professor Phillip Phillips is currently a professor in the Department of Physics at the University of Illinois at Urbana- Champaign. I encountered Professor Phillips during his tenure at MIT in the mid-90's. Aside from his very young appearance, the most remarkable thing I recall about Professor Phillips was his method of writing on the blackboard. We knew something was odd during the first day's lecture, but it takes a while to figure out what you are seeing. He picked up a piece of chalk in each hand and started writing an equations using his left hand. He stood still as the line of symbols slowly approached his torso (these were long equations in the lectures). As the writing crossed in front of his body he fluidly switched from writing with the left to writing with the right and continued the same line down the board. It was quite something to watch." ---------------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-06 Rapid Vapid Response INVESTIGATOR EMIL PETERSON writes: "I want to respond to the Vapid Corporate Slogan topic: A couple of years ago Isuzu ran some ads in which its slogan -- 'GO FARTHER' -- would be spelled out on the screen one letter at a time. My kids would burst into laughter when the ad reached four letters into the second word. I don't know if they still run the ad; I haven't seen it for a while." ---------------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-07 Party Guide for Scientists Please help us organize the International Party Guide for Scientists. According to news reports, scientists in the USA must now be members of a particular political party if they are to be appointed to certain advisory positions or hired for certain government jobs. A similar situation pertains in other countries. We hope to compile a list, country by country, of which party the would-be-employable scientist must join. No crank or other opinions, please -- just documentary info. Please send the info, with a supporting URL, to: PARTY GUIDE FOR SCIENTISTS c/o ---------------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-08 Know-Thine-Own-Self Survey, Part 2 Results Are reading and writing truly intertwined? The Know-Thine-Own-Self Survey, Part 2, asked: Have you read every one of the research papers on which you yourself are listed as a co-author? The results: YES: 86% NO: 06% UNSURE: 08% Here are three specific comments. INVESTIGATOR PATRICIA A. FRENCH: "You'd better believe it, bub... I work for a university that takes authorship seriously, even when unrelated to tenure." INVESTIGATOR THEO KREOUZIS: "The answer is: No (not out of laziness, more out of the fact that post-doctoral researchers move from institution to institution very often and collaborators -- bless 'em -- don't usually leave the post-doc's name out!)" INVESTIGATOR K, who asked that she be relatively unnamed: "Yes, although in one case, not until it came back from the journal for revisions." ---------------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-09 Damn-the-Editor Evidence Editors came under the crosshairs, occasionally, in Part 1 of the Know-Thine-Own-Self Survey. The question there was: Of the references listed in your papers, what percentage have you actually read? INVESTIGATOR DAVID BIBB, who is University Library Director at the University of Great Falls, sent a revelation: "I have read 100% for all but one paper and around 75% of the articles and scanned the rest for another. The reason for scanning was that in the only case where I used scanning I did so only because the journal editor thought it would 'look better' to have more things in the bibliography. It actually didn't have any effect on the paper, other than beefing up the number of references. I wonder if this isn't another question (OK, so I'm full of questions) that could be asked, 'How many times have you added reference, on the insistence of the editor, that didn't make any difference to the article?'" ---------------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-10 Pasta-Grasp Poet There is a winner in the competition to write an original limerick that illuminates the nature of the study: "Skilled Forelimb Reaching for Pasta Guided by Tactile Input in the Rat As Measured by Accuracy, Spatial Adjustments, and Force," M. Ballermann, G. Tompkins, and I.Q. Whishaw, Behavioural Brain Research, vol. 109, April 2000, pp. 49-57. The winner is INVESTIGATOR ANDY BREDEMEYER, who points out that "In the tactile discrimination task (pg. 52; section 3.3) they used a drill bit to see whether the rats would choose to break off the object if it felt different than the pasta they'd been trained on (or if, instead, the rats would choose the pasta in the neighboring hole). They do conclude that 'the rat is capable of adjusting paw movements using haptic information..." This was not the whole study, of course. It turns out the spaghetti vs. pasta d'angelica difference -- a very funny picture caption! -- wasn't that relevant to the study." Here is the Bredemeyer limerick: I.Q. Whishaw wished not to be brutal So he asked, with rats grasping a noodle: Can some textural cues Guide the rodents to choose? Drill bits put in the place of their food'll? And here is Limerick Laureate Martin Eiger's take on the subject: A rat, he can break capellini. Push harder, he breaks fettuccine. Be it weak, be it strong, Pasta won't last for long. Luigi, go hide the linguine! ---------------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-11 Further Hair (LFHCfS) Again, there are new members in the Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS). See them at: ---------------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-12 Red-Ants-With-Green-Beards Limerick Contest A study of red ants with green beards is the subject of this month's limerick competition. (Thanks to Chana Lajcher for bringing it to our attention.) To enter, compose an original limerick that illuminates the nature of this report: "Red Ants With Green Beards," R. Gadagkar, Journal of Biosciences, vol. 23, no. 5, December 1998, pp. 535-6. RULES: Please make sure your rhymes actually do, and that your limerick adheres to classic limerick form. PRIZE: The winning poet will receive a fairly insect-free issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Send entries (one entry per entrant) to: RED-ANTS-WITH-GREEN-BEARDS CONTEST c/o ---------------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-13 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Iatrogenic Hiccups Each month we select for your special attention a research report that seems especially worth a close read. This month's pick: "Intractable Hiccup: an Odd Complication After Laparoscopic Fundoplication for Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease," T. Strate, T.E. Langwieler, O. Mann, W.T. Knoefel, and J.R. Izbicki, Surgical Endoscopy, vol. 16, no. 7, July 2002, p. 1109 ff. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-14 On Our Blog Here are some recent topics (a new one appears every weekday) in our blog: <> Dog versus Smoke Rings <> Bored Meetings <> Want to Have Sex? <> About Mr. Velev <> A nonpareil: G. Braden <> Transvestites Behaving Like Homosexuals in a Sandpiper <> Einstein and the Persistent Poet ... and many others Read the blog via ----------------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-15 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Coffee & Banana-Doughnut Wavefronts EARLY COFFEE "Effects of Discontinuing Coffee Intake on Iron Deficient Guatemalan ToddlersÕ Cognitive Development and Sleep," P.L. Engle, et al., Early Human Development, vol. 53, 1999 pp. 251Ð69. BANANAÐDOUGHNUT PERSPECTIVE ON WAVEFRONT HEALING "Wavefront Healing: A Banana-Doughnut Perspective," S.-H. Hung, F.A. Dahlen and Guust Nolet, Geophysical Journal International, vol. 146, no. 2, August 2001, pp. 289-312. (Thanks to Tom Gill for bringing this to our attention.) ------------------------------------------------------------ 2006-01-16 Improbable Research Events ==> For details and updates see ==> ==> Want to host an event? See: ==> AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, ST. LOUIS -- FEB 17, 2006 Special Improbable Research Session 8:00 PM. Renaissance Grand Hotel, Landmark 5 room. IMPROBABLE RESEARCH TOUR OF THE UK -- MAR 10-19, 2006 Details to be announced soon. PINC CONFERENCE, THE NETHERLANDS -- MAY 16, 2006 ALPBACH TECHNOLOGY FORUM, ALPBACH, AUSTRIA -- AUG, 2006 IG NOBEL TOUR OF AUSTRALIA -- AUG, 2006 2006 IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY -- OCT 5, 2006 Tickets go on sale in August 2006 IG INFORMAL LECTURES -- OCT 7, 2006 -------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-17 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you've been reading in this newsletter). ................................................................ 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Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 ----------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-18 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: ----------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-19 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne PSYCHOLOGY EDITOR: Robin Abrahams CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, S. Drew MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts (c) copyright 2006, Annals of Improbable Research ----------------------------------------------------- 2006-01-20 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. 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