PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue number 2005-11 November 2005 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 2005-11-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 2005-11-02 Soon... 2005-11-03 What's New in the Magazine 2005-11-04 Know-Thine-Own-Self Survey 2005-11-05 The Pursuit of the Vapid (Part 2) 2005-11-06 Not Valid in Kansas 2005-11-07 Fledermausmensch Update Update Update 2005-11-08 Incest Gene Poet 2005-11-09 Incest Haiku 2005-11-10 More Hair Still 2005-11-11 Alimentary Canal Limerick Contest 2005-11-12 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Moving, Nauseogenic News 2005-11-13 On Our Blog 2005-11-14 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Quantum Jesus, Addiction, Castration 2005-11-15 Improbable Research Events 2005-11-16 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 2005-11-17 Our Address (*) 2005-11-18 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) 2005-11-19 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-02 Soon... Annual Ig Nobel Radio Broadcast FRI, NOV 25, 2005 on the "Science Friday with Ira Flatow" program. Listen on NPR or online. Details at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-03 What's New in the Magazine The Nov/Dec issue (vol. 11, no. 6) of the Annals of Improbable Research is the annual special IG NOBEL PRIZE issue. Highlights include a full report about the Ig Nobel winners and ceremony and mini-opera, with lavish photo-spreads. And much more... The issue will be emerging from the printer in early to mid- December. A subscription of course makes a perfectly inexpensive, yet reiterative, gift for your favorite improbable, impossible-to- choose-a-gift-for investigator. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-04 Know-Thine-Own-Self Survey If you are a author or co-author of published research studies, please take a moment to participate in our KNOW-THINE-OWN-SELF SURVEY. Please answer this ONLY ABOUT RESEARCH PAPERS ON WHICH YOU ARE LISTED AS AUTHOR OR CO-AUTHOR: Of the references listed in your paper, what percentage have you: A) read all of B) read just a summary of C) read only the name of Please send your three-part survey answer, without comment or thought, to: Know-Thine-Own-Self Survey c/o ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-05 The Pursuit of the Vapid (Part 2) The attempt to find the author of one famously vapid phrase (see min-AIR 2005-03) may lead to the trail of the author of another, equally lovely, vapid phrase. INVESTIGATOR TAMAR LASKI writes: * * * "The Monsanto slogan, 'without chemicals, life itself would be impossible' bears some similarities to an advertising phrase used by Alpharma, Inc. to promote their animal antibiotics which happen to contain arsenic (and are fed to the chickens and are then eaten by humans): 'Arsenic is Natural.' "The two statements have in common their vapidity. However, the writing style is quite different, and it seems unlikely that the same author wrote both statements. The Monsanto phrase is relatively complex (7 words) and begins with a fancy little clause. The Alpharma statement is pure and elegant, 3 words, subject, verb, adjective. It lingers in the mind with a profound solemnity that counteracts its vapidity. "This leaves me with the conclusion that there is more than one author capable of such vapid statements (vapidity-capable), and there may be others. "The 'Arsenic is Natural' statement is preceded by the mellifluous lead-in phrase, '3-Nitro is Safe for the Consumer and the Environment.' Both can be found in Alpharma's Technical Bulletin No.3-Nitro, January 1999." ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-06 Not Valid in Kansas Many things are no longer valid in Kansas, thanks to the November 8, 2005 mandate by the Kansas State Board of Education. As a public service, we have created warning stickers that say: NOT VALID IN KANSAS as per order of the Board of Education, November 8, 2005 Use of this device or substance may require, imply, and/or endorse the existence of one or more of the following: chemistry; evolution; electromagnetism; gravity; mathematics; thermodynamics; education. You can download a printable PDF file: . NOTE: The Kansas Board of Education is co-winner of the 1999 Ig Nobel Prize for Science Education for its earlier work on this subject. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-07 Fledermausmensch Update Update Update Due to an infestation of new nominations, The Committee to Figure Out Who is Fledermausmensch (see the last several months' mini-AIR for background info) has still not reached a decision as to who is the one, true Fledermausmensch. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-08 Incest Gene Poet There is a winner in the competition to write an original limerick that illuminates the nature of the study: "Incestuous Gene in Consanguinophilia and Incest: Toward a Consilience Theory of Incest Taboo," Srdjan Denic and M. Gary Nicholls, Medical Hypotheses, September 2005 [Epublication ahead of print]. Details are at The winner is: INVESTIGATOR SAM FREUND: In places where blood ties are dense And sib-love is not an offense, A genetic condition Supports this position. Now finally Texas makes sense. And here is our Limerick Laureate (Martin Eiger)'s take on the subject: If you're an incestuous schmuck, Libidinous thoughts run amok. A lecherous mister Who's boffing his sister -- It seems that's genetic. What luck! ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-09 Incest Haiku Something about last month's limerick competition inspired or induced, or unintendedly invited quite a few people to compose haiku, rather than limericks. Many of these many sent in several items. All were disqualified on the obvious technical ground. We present two that were composed by William Hyman: As demonstrated by Consanguinophilia Blame it on the gene The incest gene Now I understand my hated infamy ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-10 More Hair Still Still more new Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS) members: ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-11 Alimentary Canal Limerick Contest An early work by Edwin Boring is the subject of this month's limerick competition. To enter, compose an original limerick that illuminates the nature of his study: "The Sensations of the Alimentary Canal," Edwin Boring, American Journal of Psychology, 1915. RULES: Please make sure your rhymes actually do, and that your limerick at least pretends to adhere to classic limerick form. PRIZE: The winning poet will receive an indigestible issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Send entries (one entry per entrant) to: ALIMENTARY CANAL LIMERICK CONTEST c/o ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-12 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Moving, Nauseogenic News Each month we select for your special attention a research report that seems especially worth a close read. This month's pick: "Suppression of Sickness by Controlled Breathing During Mildly Nauseogenic Motion," F.D. Yen Pik Sang, J.F. Golding, and M.A. Gresty, Aviation, Space, and Environmental Medicine, vol. 74, no. 9, September 1, 2003, pp. 998-1002. (Thanks to Kristine Danowski for bringing this to our attention.) The authors are part of the MRC Spatial Disorientation Group, at Imperial College London. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-13 On Our Blog Here are some recent topics (a new one appears every weekday) in our blog: <> Imperial boredom <> Murder(??) in the museum, again <> Sea monster? Or?? <> The effects of LSD on British troops <> Servants and masters <> Chewing Gum / Surgery press release <> Lotto pffffffffffhhhht ... and many others Read the blog via ----------------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-14 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Quantum Jesus, Addiction, Castration INTER- AND EXTRA-DISCIPLINARY RESEARCH "Quantum Theory and the Resurrection of Jesus," Anders S. Tune, Dialog, vol. 43, no. 3, September 2004, pp. 166-76. THE MEANING OF IS IS "Addiction is Addiction is Addiction," Jennifer P. Schneider, Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity, vol. 12, nos. 2-3, April- September 2005, pp. 75-7. (Thanks to David F. Austin for bringing this to our attention.) SONG OF LOSS "Castration-Induced Vocalisation in Domestic Piglets, Sus scrofa: Complex and Specific Alterations of the Vocal Quality," B. Puppe, P.C. Schon, A. Tuchscherer and G. Manteuffel, Applied Animal Behaviour Science, vol. 95, nos. 1-2, November 2005, pp. 67-78. (Thanks to Larry O'Hanlon for bringing this to our attention.) ------------------------------------------------------------ 2005-11-15 Improbable Research Events ==> For details and updates see ==> ==> Want to host an event? See: ==> ADARUQ, QUEBEC CITY, QUEBEC -- NOV 18, 2005 Banquet et conference humoristique Ig Nobel Hotel Chateau Laurier INFO: Patricia Fournier, (819) 821-8000 ext. 1274 Patricia.Fournier@USherbrooke.ca SCIENCE FRIDAY, NATIONAL PUBLIC RADIO -- FRI, NOV 25, 2005 Annual Ig Nobel broadcast. Consult local stations for time. Also available over the internet. INFO: ST. CLOUD STATE UNIVERSITY, ST. CLOUD, MN -- TUES, JAN 17, 2006 Center for Excellence in Teaching and Learning INFO: Frances Condon AAAS ANNUAL MEETING, ST. LOUIS -- FEB, 2006 IMPROBABLE RESEARCH TOUR OF THE UK -- MAR, 2006 PINC CONFERENCE, THE NETHERLANDS -- MAY 16, 2006 ALPBACH TECHNOLOGY FORUM, ALPBACH, AUSTRIA -- AUG, 2006 IG NOBEL TOUR OF AUSTRALIA -- AUG, 2006 -------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-16 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you've been reading in this newsletter). ................................................................ Name: Address: Address: City and State: Zip or postal code: Country Phone: FAX: E-mail: ......................................................... SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): USA 1 yr/$33 2 yrs/$60 Canada/Mexico 1 yr/$39 US 2 yrs/$65 US Overseas 1 yr/$49 US 2 yrs/$90 US ......................................................... BACK ISSUES are available, too: First issue: $9 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $17 overseas Add'l issues purchased at same time: $7 each ......................................................... Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 ----------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-17 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: ----------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-18 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne PSYCHOLOGY EDITOR: Robin Abrahams CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, S. Drew MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts (c) copyright 2005, Annals of Improbable Research ----------------------------------------------------- 2005-11-19 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. To subscribe, send a brief E-mail message to: LISTPROC@AIR.HARVARD.EDU The body of your message should contain ONLY the words SUBSCRIBE MINI-AIR MARIE CURIE (You may substitute your own name for that of Madame Curie.) ---------------------------- To stop subscribing, send the following message: SIGNOFF MINI-AIR ============================================================