PLEASE FORWARD/POST AS APPROPRIATE ================================================================ The mini-Annals of Improbable Research ("mini-AIR") Issue number 2005-05 May 2005 ISSN 1076-500X Key words: improbable research, science humor, Ig Nobel, AIR, the ---------------------------------------------------------------- A free newsletter of tidbits too tiny to fit in the Annals of Improbable Research (AIR), the journal of inflated research and personalities ================================================================ ----------------------------- 2005-05-01 TABLE OF CONTENTS 2005-05-02 Imminent Events 2005-05-02 What's New in the Magazine 2005-05-03 Dunking Non-Break Breakthrough? 2005-05-04 Tea Drain 2005-05-05 Why Are Canadians So Clean? 2005-05-06 The Hawking Briefs Scandal 2005-05-07 Banana Petioles Morphology Limerick Failure 2005-05-08 Sandpile Failure Limerick Contest 2005-05-09 hair, hair, Hair, HAIR, Hair, hair, hair 2005-05-10 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Haircuts May Cause Baldness 2005-05-11 On Our Blog 2005-05-12 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Valves, Wild Eyes, Dam Freud 2005-05-13 Improbable Research Events 2005-05-14 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) 2005-05-15 Our Address (*) 2005-05-16 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) 2005-05-17 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue. mini-AIR is a free monthly *e-supplement* to AIR, the print magazine ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-05-02 What's New in the Magazine The May/June issue (vol. 11, no. 3) of the Annals of Improbable Research is the special SECURITY issue. It is at the printers now, and will be arriving on subscribers' doorsteps soon. Highlights include: <> "Assessing Gluteal Hardness in Uniformed Security Guards," by Peter Freundlich. <> "Security Guard Research Review," by Nan Swift. The entire table of contents is at "Gluteal Hardness" is at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-05-03 Dunking Non-Break Breakthrough? There is a dunking development, or at least a report of a dunking development, that some may find hard to swallow. Len Fisher won an Ig Nobel Prize in 1999 for calculating the optimal way to dunk the type of object known in some places as a biscuit and known in other places as a cookie. Now comes word of biscuits that "can be dipped into a cup of tea for up to 2.3 seconds and still keep their flavour and shape." These durable objects were developed by Harriet Gregory, a researcher at Marks & Spencer. Further details appear in an April 2, 2005 report in The Scotsman. (Thanks to investigator Roy Rivenburg for bringing this to our attention. Investigator Rivenburg adds: "I've had friends who baked cookies that fit that description. I bet you have, too. They are good for breaking off excess chunks of tooth.") ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-05-04 Tea Drain Britain, which suffered a brain drain after World War II, is now suffering a tea drain. A May 18 Reuters report conveys this disturbing message: cuppa per capita tea drinking in the U.K. is falling. (Thanks to Investigator Ron Josephson for bringing this to our attention. Investigator Josephson points out that it may spell dry times ahead for Project Cuppa, our ongoing effort to collect tea- and coffee-preparation rituals from scientists.) ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-05-05 Why Are Canadians So Clean? Why do Canadians wash their hands so much more often than Americans? This so-called "North American Paradox" is raised, albeit implicitly, in a press release issued not so long ago by the American Society for Microbiology. Details are at The data show that, with the exception of women at the Dallas/Forth Worth airport, people in American airport washrooms do not, with much reliability, wash both hands. In the one Canadian airport for which data is included, the story is different: Toronto International Airport, Toronto Male hand-washers: 95% Female hand-washers: 97% The American Society for Microbiology quasi-attributes this to Canadian fear of catching the SARS illness. But is that the real story? Is this cleanliness perhaps an enduring Canadian national trait? We are keen to learn of other, more-detailed published scientific reports about Canada's relative cleanliness. ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-05-06 The Hawking Briefs Scandal One of the Big Cats of physics is about to step on one of the field's little cats. In 1988, Stephen Hawking published a supremely best-selling book called "A Brief History of Time." In 1999, astronomer Eric Schulman, who is perhaps not so widely known as Stephen Hawking, published a book called "A Briefer History of Time." This September, Bantam Books will publish a new version of Hawking's book, suspiciously re-titled "A Briefer History of Time." Schulman's "Briefer" book is briefer than Hawking's, 171 pages to 176. It also predates Hawking's by more than 200 million seconds. Will Hawking crush Schulman? Will he even acknowledge Schulman's existence? We can only hope that the physics community will spread the word about this odd wrinkle on time. NOTE: The two "Briefer" books, and something related that was mentioned here last month, can be seen, sort of, at ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-05-07 Banana Petioles Morphology Limerick Failure The judges have declared there to be no winner for last month's BANANA PETIOLES MORPHOLOGY LIMERICK COMPETITION, which sought limericks that celebrate this memorable research report: "The Functional Morphology of the Petioles of the Banana, Musa textiles," A.R. Ennos, H-Ch. Spatz and. T. Speck, Journal of Experimental Botany, vol. 51, no. 353, December 2000, pp. 2085-93. Happily, Improbable Limerick Laureate Martin Eiger has leaped to the rescue, writing yet another well-formed, on point, easy to read aloud limerick: The petiole's structure is vexing. It bends, but it's strong. How perplexing! The veins through its length Account for its strength. Its U shape accounts for its flexing. Eiger appendectally remarks that "Sometimes a banana is just a banana." ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-05-08 Sandpile Failure Limerick Contest We invite you to enter the first and last annual SANDPILE FAILURE LIMERICK CONTEST, for the best (NEWLY composed!) limerick that elucidates this research report, which was brought to our attention by investigator Tom Roberts. The citation is: "Incipient Failure in Sandpile Models," Onuttom Narayan, et al., Physica A, vol. 264, nos. 1-2, February 15, 1999, pp. 75-83. The authors explain that: Elastoplastic and constitutive equation theories [both] produce the same surprising prediction that in a two-dimensional granular pile constructed at its angle of repose, the outside wedge will be on the verge of failure. We show how these predictions can be tested experimentally. RULES: Make sure that (1) your rhymes actually do, and (2) your limerick at least pretends to adhere to classic limerick form. PRIZE: The winning poet will receive a free, not-especially-sandy issue of the Annals of Improbable Research. Send entries (one entry per entrant) to: SANDPILE LIMERICK CONTEST c/o ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-05-09 hair, hair, Hair, HAIR, Hair, hair, hair The Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists (LFHCfS) has several new members, including a large chunk of Trinity University's biology department: ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-05-10 RESEARCH SPOTLIGHT: Haircuts May Cause Baldness Each month we select for your special attention a research report that seems especially worth a close read. This month's pick: "Cultural Evolution as a Possible Triggering or Causative Factor of Common Baldness," AJ. Yanez Soler, Medical Hypotheses, vol. 62, no. 6, 2004, pp. 980-5. (Thanks to Scott A. Norton for bringing this to our attention.) The author explains that: The human being has evolved to become a naked monkey, although there is no apparent reason to continue the evolutionary process up to becoming a bald monkey. According to this theory, common baldness is a degenerative process derived from certain inadequate cultural practices, such as excessive hair cutting... NOTE: And for more detail on this, see ---------------------------------------------------------- 2005-05-11 On Our Blog Here are some recent topics (a new one appears every weekday) in our blog: Vino: describe it OR remember it The Dead Grandmother / Exam Syndrome and the U.K. Communion-wafer particle experiment What comes up doesn't go down well Airport handwashing Most double-edged name in medical devices? ... and many others Read the blog via ----------------------------------------------------------- 2005-05-12 MAY WE RECOMMEND: Valves, Wild Eyes, Dam Freud THE SAUDI URETHRAL VALVE CHALLENGE "Presentation of Posterior Urethral Valves in Saudi Arabia in the 90s: Are We Meeting the Expectations?" F. Neel, R. El-Faqih, et al., Saudi Medical Journal, vol. 24, May 2003, p. S48. THE HUNTSMAN'S EYE "Eye Tracking in the Wild," Dan Witzner Hansen and Arthur E.C. Pece, Computer Vision and Image Understanding, vol. 98, no. 1, 2005, pp. 155-81. DAM, FREUD ON THE EXCITED, LONELY HEART "Total Excitation of the Isolated Human Heart," D. Durrer, R.T. van Dam, G.E Freud, M.J. Janse, F.L. Miejler, and R.C. Arzbaecher, Circulation, vol. 1970, pp. 899-912. (Thanks to Tim Poston for bringing this to our attention.) ------------------------------------------------------------ 2005-05-13 Improbable Research Events ==> For details and updates see ==> Want to host an event? 617-491-4437. ==> SPARTA, GREECE -- THURS, JUNE 23, 2005 Seminar on "Improbable Research in Ancient and Modern Greece." CASCADIACON, SEATTLE -- THURS, SEPT 1 - MON, SEPT. 5, 2005 PAUL SMITH'S COLLEGE, PAUL SMITHS, NY WED, SEPT. 21, 2005 AIR editor MARC ABRAHAMS will discuss the Ig Nobel Prizes. FIFTEENTH 1ST ANNUAL IG NOBEL PRIZE CEREMONY -- OCT 6, 2005 Sanders Theatre, Harvard University, 7:30 PM Tickets will go on sale in August. IG INFORMAL LECTURES -- OCT 8, 2005 MIT, room 10-250. 1:30 PM. -------------------------------------------------------------- 2005-05-14 How to Subscribe to AIR (*) Here's how to subscribe to the magnificent bi-monthly print journal The Annals of Improbable Research (the real thing, not just the little bits of overflow material you've been reading in this newsletter). ................................................................ Name: Address: Address: City and State: Zip or postal code: Country Phone: FAX: E-mail: ................................................................ SUBSCRIPTIONS (6 issues per year): USA 1 yr/$29 2 yrs/$53 Canada/Mexico 1 yr/$33 US 2 yrs/$57 US Overseas 1 yr/$45 US 2 yrs/$82 US ................................................................ BACK ISSUES are available, too: First issue: $8 USA, $11 Canada/Mex, $16 overseas Add'l issues purchased at same time: $6 each ................................................................ Send payment (US bank check, or international money order, or Visa, Mastercard or Discover info) to: Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 ----------------------------------------------------- 2005-05-15 Our Address (*) Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) PO Box 380853, Cambridge, MA 02238 USA 617-491-4437 FAX:617-661-0927 EDITORIAL: marca@chem2.harvard.edu SUBSCRIPTIONS: air@improbable.com WEB SITE: --------------------------- 2005-05-16 Please Forward/Post This Issue! (*) Please distribute copies of mini-AIR (or excerpts!) wherever appropriate. The only limitations are: A) Please indicate that the material comes from mini-AIR. B) You may NOT distribute mini-AIR for commercial purposes. ------------- mini-AIRheads ------------- EDITOR: Marc Abrahams (marca@chem2.harvard.edu) MINI-PROOFREADER AND PICKER OF NITS (before we introduce the last few at the last moment): Wendy Mattson WWW EDITOR/GLOBAL VILLAGE IDIOT: Amy Gorin (airmaster@improbable.com) COMMUTATIVE EDITOR: Stanley Eigen (eigen@neu.edu) ASSOCIATIVE EDITOR: Mark Dionne PSYCHOLOGY EDITOR: Robin Abrahams CO-CONSPIRATORS: Alice Shirrell Kaswell, Gary Dryfoos, Ernest Ersatz, S. Drew MAITRE DE COMPUTATION: Jerry Lotto AUTHORITY FIGURES: Nobel Laureates Dudley Herschbach, Sheldon Glashow, William Lipscomb, Richard Roberts (c) copyright 2005, Annals of Improbable Research ----------------------------------------------------- 2005-05-17 How to Receive mini-AIR, etc. (*) What you are reading right now is mini-AIR. Mini-AIR is a (free!) tiny monthly *supplement* to the bi-monthly print magazine. 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