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Wears Wears Out

Doctor Wears confides, in a new paper, about the depths of his training:

Worn Out by Fatigue Training,” Robert L. Wears [pictured here], MD, PhD, Annals of Emergency Medicine, vol. 66, no. 3, September 2015, pp. 334-335. (Thanks to Ivan Oransky for bringing this to our attention.) Dr. Wears, at the University of Florida and also at Imperial College London, writes:

I was sitting quietly in our department’s faculty meeting, trying to surreptitiously catch up on some reading while appearing politely attentive. This is academic medicine’s equivalent of “just walking down the street, minding my own business”—when the equivalent of ‘and then some dude shot me’ jolted me back to the meeting; it was the distantly heard phrase ‘mandatory training.’ My heart sank….

I went back to my office to do my duty. The video was called ‘Fatigue Training,’ so napping through it somehow seemed just right. I propped my feet on my desk and settled down to protect myself against that demon, fatigue….

As I was ‘training,’ I drifted off, no doubt because— surprise—I was fatigued. I began to dream about all the mandatory training I’ve taken in the past few years, and the pile of official-looking certificates I’ve got to keep track of, and to produce at a moment’s notice to maintain hospital privileges, board eligibility, or general membership in polite society…

[Eventually] I suddenly awoke—alone, in my office, sweating, mildly tachycardic, but blessedly alone. My secretary came in to ask if I was all right. ‘I thought I heard you call out,’ she said. ‘No, not me; must have been the wind,’ I lied. ‘But I’m going to take the rest of the day off. Fatigue Training has worn me out.’

BONUS: Here is one of many fatigue training videos available to you. This particular one is for Australian truck drivers:

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