Hands-On Approach to Male Sleep Disorders

This report was submitted to us by an MIT professor who requests anonymity.

I wish to report a discovery made by my female colleague (identified here as “F”) working with me (“M”). I am male.

M snored. His great thundering stentorian waves of sound even woke people in other bedrooms. The snoring was a side-effect of sleep apnea, an ailment characterized by pauses in breathing.

M stopped breathing for such periods of time that F was ready to call an ambulance. Between the snoring and the fear of waking up beside a corpse, F got very little sleep.

She tried shaking M, which served only to wake and anger him. She tried tickling his ribs and underarms but to no avail. The snoring and apnea continued and sleep was impossible.

Then in a moment of inspiration, she went to M?s nexus. She tickled his testicles. Success! Sweet, blissful silence ensued. The snoring stopped or the sleep apnea disappeared, time after time and without fail. F had discovered a reliable, hands-on treatment for male sleep disorders.