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Elected, Algorithmically

The recent U.S. Presidential election is — indisputably — characterized by heavy-handed mathematical manipulation.

Agorithmically speaking, the result was all too predictable. Investigator (and algorithm co-devisor) Eric Schulman, of Alexandria Virginia, triumphantly, if humbly, explains:

Unlike the Redskins Algorithm (the incumbent political party wins the presidency of the United States if the Washington Redskins American football team wins the last home game before the election) or the Red Sox Algorithm (if the Boston Red Sox baseball team wins the World[sic] Series in a U.S. presidential election year then Woodrow Wilson is elected president), the latest AIR U.S. Presidential Election Algorithm (Debowy and Schulman, AIR Online, 20 October 1993) correctly predicted the outcome of the 2004 United States presidential election. We expect to continue to acquire data on the validity of this algorithm at a rate of approximately 8 nanohertz for the foreseeable future.

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