Improbable Research

Ian Yeoman, a tourism futurist, has predicted that robot prostitution could be a tourism draw in the future, perhaps even in the next 50 years. Dr. Yeoman claims that robot sex workers could have advantages such as not passing on sexually-transmitted diseases.

However, any budding robo-entrepreneur should perhaps first take a good, long look at the paper which won the 1996 Ig Nobel Prize in Public Health, “Transmission of Gonorrhea Through an Inflatable Doll“, published by Ellen Kleist and Harald Moi in “Genitourinary Medicine,” vol. 69, no. 4, Aug. 1993, p. 322. The photo below shows Dr. Moi delivering his Ig Nobel Acceptance speech:

The Chemical Heritage Foundation will throw a party —on Thursday night, October 1— to watch the live webcast of the 2009 Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony.

If your institution would like to throw an Ig-watching party in some other city or town, please get in touch with us at Improbable Research, so we can help spread the word.

Scientific studies have suggested that up to a third of organ transplant patients believe they have inherited changes in their personalities, preferences and skills from their donors.

So explains an August 20, 2009 article in the Telegraph under the headline “Father develops cleaning obsession after cornea transplant”. The Telegraph article also says:

Before the operation, Will Palmer, 46, was happy to leave household chores to his partner Sarah Gadsby. However, since the father-of-three had a cornea transplant in March this year he has taken to doing the dusting and washing up and developed an aversion to grime he didn’t have before….

Gary Leighton, 44, a plumber from London, this week told how he had discovered a gift for painting after undergoing a kidney transplant operation.

We at Improbable Research are not aware of the scientific studies mentioned in the lead paragraph, above. If you have any citations, we would appreciate hearing from you.

He took the thermometer from her and glanced at it quickly. “Normal. No germs here. It would be perfectly safe to kiss you.” He pulled her up into his arms.

That’s a passage from the final page of Barbara Bonham’s novel called Diagnosis Love. The Judgeabook blog remarks: ” I really hope that thermometer was in her mouth.”

NOTE: This novel should not be confused with the identically titled novel by Donna Wright, in which (the publisher informs us) the heroine “was suddenly knocked to the ground by an energized pot-bellied pig”, at which point:

Convinced things could not possibly become more awkward and embarrassing she looks up to see the handsome Doctor Alex Price arrives on the scene just in time to see her haphazardly sprawled on the cement.

The original Miss Sweetie Poo is entering college this week.

Miss Sweetie Poo is a role — a vital role — at the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony. Miss Sweetie Poo is a very cute eight-year-old girl. She sits on stage the entire time. Whenever Miss Sweetie Poo feels that a speaker has talked long enough, she goes up to that person and says, “Please stop. I’m bored. Please stop. I’m bored. Please stop. I’m bored. Please stop. I’m bored.” She continues doing this until the speaker stops speaking. Thanks to Miss Sweetie Poo, the ceremony always proceeds briskly.

Because of that age requirement, we need a new Miss Sweetie Poo every year or so. Natasha Rosenberg, who pioneered the role (and who in subsequent years has performed other roles at the ceremony) is now 18, and is a college freshman. We all salute her, and miss her, and hope that some year she will come back and take yet another new role in the ceremony. On October 1, 2009, Natasha’s legacy will grow, as yet another new, eight-year-old omnipotent Miss Sweetie Poo will take the Ig Nobel stage at Sanders Theatre.

The photo below shows Natasha helping 2000 Ig Nobel medicine prize winner Pek Van Andel finish up his one-minute-long acceptance speech.

A South Florida man might have avoided arrest had he installed Ig Nobel-winning catproofing software on his computer. According to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel, a man’s cat has been implicated in his arrest for having child pornography on his computer.

Martin County Sheriff’s detectives didn’t buy it when a 48-year-old Jensen Beach man claimed that his cat was downloading child pornography on his computer.

Keith R. Griffin, of the 3600 block of Northeast Jeannette Drive, was charged Wednesday with 10 counts of possession of child pornography after detectives found more than 1,000 child pornographic images on his computer, according to a news release.

Griffin told detectives he would leave his computer on and his cat would jump on the keyboard.

The 2000 Ig Nobel Prize in Computer Science was awarded to Chris Niswander for inventing PawSense, software that detects when a cat is walking across your computer keyboard and locks out that input to prevent any unintended actions.

We asked Mr. Niswander, in his capacity as an expert in Feline/Computer Relations, to comment on Mr. Griffin’s case. He responded:

[W]hen I was first market-testing PawSense at a cat show, I did hear stories from some people about how their cats would habitually walk on their computer in patterns that repeatedly sent emails and that kind of thing.

Keyboard shortcuts in most software do let key presses alone accomplish most or all of the things that can be done with a mouse.

One of my favorite cat computer stories is about the guy whose girlfriend bought him PawSense because his cat lost several hundred dollars ‘walking around in’ software that permits rapid day trading in stocks and other securities.

I never considered that PawSense can be hazardous to criminals by reducing their opportunities for alibis.

In general, you can find a lot of opportunities to get into trouble with random typing: just do a web search for ‘keyboard shortcuts’.

Part of why I can’t fully judge this alibi is that:
1. I don’t even know where the child porn *is* on the Internet.
2. My computers are relatively well-protected against malware, so I might miss “opportunities” to download child porn.

So I don’t know how easy it is to download child porn.

No word yet if Mr. Niswander will be called as a witness on behalf of Mr. Griffin’s defense.

(Special thanks to I Can Has Cheezburger for permission to reuse their image, above, for this post.)