Sausage illumination (also-ran) poets
These are some of the runners-up in the Sausage Illumination Limerick Competition. The goal was to write a limerick that elucidates this study:
“The Relationship of Illumination to the Color and Acceptability of Fermented Sausage,” S. Barbut, Journal of Muscle Foods, vol. 13, no. 1, March 2002, pp. 13?23. (Thanks to Earle Spamer for bringing this to our attention.)
The winner was announced in mini-AIR 2006-10. Here are some secondary sausages:
INVESTIGATOR JONATHAN ROSS:
Some salamis exposed to a spectrum
Of light make us want to reject ?em
For their discolored look
Makes them often mistook
For the product of somebody?s rectum
INVESTIGATOR Peter Bush:
When building up muscle at night
Incandescence is needed for sight
Selecting pastrami
Or pinkish salami
Requires an acceptable light.
INVESTIGATOR FREDERICK RENNERT :
Its colors all gaudy and gay
Any sausage will flaunt all the day.
But all night it laments,
As it slowly ferments,
“In the dark every sausage is gray!”
INVESTIGATOR LESLIE ROSENBLOOD:
The way that a sausage is made
Is rarely if ever, displayed.
But when placed in full sight
Under some kinds of light
One can see just how much it’s decayed.
INVESTIGATOR DEBBIE HECHT:
Green salami isn’t appealing?
The color leaves customers reeling?
There’s no need for shame -
The lighting’s to blame.
So just change the bulb in the ceiling.