Improbable Research

Former Ig Nobel Economics Prize winners Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling continue their successful pattern of making news. A May 25, 2006 Bloomberg News report gives the latest chapter:

Lay, Skilling Convicted of Fraud That Doomed Enron

Kenneth Lay and Jeffrey Skilling, who built Enron Corp. into the nation’s seventh-largest company and then drove it into bankruptcy, were convicted of orchestrating a fraud that made the energy trader the symbol of corporate deceit in America. Jurors in federal court in Houston deliberated six days before finding Lay, Enron’s former chairman, and Skilling, its former chief executive officer, guilty today of fraud, conspiracy and other charges for lying to investors about the company’s finances….

The pair shared their Ig Nobel Prize, in 2002, with all the other executives, corporate directors, and auditors of Enron, Lernaut & Hauspie, Adelphia, Bank of Commerce and Credit International, Cendant, CMS Energy, Duke Energy, Dynegy, Gazprom, Global Crossing, HIH Insurance, Informix, Kmart, Maxwell Communications, McKessonHBOC, Merrill Lynch, Merck, Peregrine Systems, Qwest Communications, Reliant Resources, Rent-Way, Rite Aid, Sunbeam, Tyco, Waste Management, WorldCom, Xerox, and Arthur Andersen, for adapting the mathematical concept of imaginary numbers for use in the business world.

An eminent mathematician sent us this plaintive note. This person requests anonymity, for reasons that should be obvious.

I have to write a referee’s report on a paper. I am not submitting the following but it conveys my true feelings:

The authors present a straightforward proof of an obvious result based on a question that no one has asked motivated by their misunderstanding of the actual question by [FAMOUS GODLIKE MATHEMATICIAN'S NAME REDACTED]. The simplicity of the proof, however, is more than compensated by the authors’ lack of clarity, and their overall carelessness.

Mr Inoue is tormented by daft questions, but takes them in his stride. “People approach me all the time and ask me if I can’t help their husbands sing better, and I always say the same thing. If the singer was any good, he would be a pro and make a living at it. He’s bad because he’s like the rest of us. So we might as well just sit back and enjoy it.”

These days, he makes a living selling, among other things, an eco-friendly detergent and a cockroach repellent for karaoke machines. “Cockroaches get inside the machines and build nests, chew on the wires,” he says. Friends say he is the ideas man, while his wife, who works in the same Osaka office, helps bring them to life.

That’s part of an extensive interview with Daisuke Inoue in the May 24, 2006 Independent. Mr Inoue was awarded the 2004 Ig Nobel Peace Prize for inventing karaoke, thereby providing an entirely new way for people to learn to tolerate each other.

“Christian Sexual Addiction” is a concept publicized by the American Association of Certified Christian Sexual Addiction Specialists. Two of the club’s leaders have published a psycho-sexy study:

“Sexual Addiction and ADHD: Is There A Connection?” Richard Blankenship and Mark Laaser, Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, vol. 11, nos. 1-2, January-June 2004, pp. 7-20.

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), the study appears to say, is a key component of Christian Sexual Addiction.

Mark A. Daeschel, Jessica Just and Joy Waite have submitted a patent application (#20060013723) for what they called a “wine-based disinfectant.”